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Aussie Government Scandal Continues

Published on April 26, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

(In case you missed our previous story, we reported on the Speaker of the Australian House of Representatives being embroiled in a scandal. His name is Peter Slipper. We did not make that up. We did, however, make a  lot of this up:)

Peter Slipper Denies Charges

 

The Scandal with ‘Mr. Sandal ‘ Continues: 

 

 A release of Speaker Peter Slipper’s personal records is disputed by leading forensic handwriting expert; Slipper still claims they are authentic (this is true:)

http://www.news.com.au/national/speaker-peter-slippers-release-of-personal-records-to-prove-his-innocence-disputed-by-leading-forensic-handwriting-specialist-paul-westwood-whose-preliminary-assessment-suggests-the-signatures-could-be-indicative-of-two-or-more-writers/story-e6frfkvr-1226340169312#ixzz1tBZbTsjK

 

The Fine Report has gotten possession of this information. After obtaining an opinion on it from the best legal scholar who was willing to provide one at the low price we were willing to pay, we are  nonetheless convinced the records are authentic. The following is a summation of the contents:

 

Despite a career in the rough and tumble world of politics, Mr. Slipper is particularly sensitive to being called a ‘flip-flopper.’ He secretly wears thong underwear. His favorite movies are the 1953 film ‘The Robe,’ as well as the more recent films, ‘Flipper’ and ‘Jack the Ripper.’ His political hero is Ronald Reagan, known as ‘The Gipper.’ He refers to his son as, ‘my little nipper.’ His hobby is astronomy, and he studies the Big Dipper. He used to bite his nails, but now uses a clipper. Oddly, he is not Jewish, but observes Yom Kippur. He is known in restaurants as kind of a bad tipper. He refuses to wear anything using velcro instead of a zipper. But is wife complains he is stogy, and he should dress a little hipper. As a result, Mr. Slipper now dresses hipper when pulls up his zipper, looks at the Dipper, watches Flipper or tucks in the nipper.

 

“That’s it, baby. Give it to ’em right up the….”

 

 

 

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