Forget Match.com or Ilikebeingtiedupandgettingtheshitbeatoutofme.com – we can do it better. And for free:
Hottie Seeking Blind Man, or Aztec:
I’m an adventurous babe, hot-bodied and hot-blooded, but a completely lovable hair stylist. I finally found employment in a coal mine, but I am truly an outdoors girl at heart. I don’t like most guys (especially ones with good eyesight) but my true love just might be you! Here’s hoping we can find love and live together into our golden and dark-green years.
Must have own dog or sacrificial alter, and must not be magnetic.
–Petunia 4549, c/o email@example.com