Host: “Hello everybody! Our first contestant is Al Sharpton. Welcome to the show, Al!”
Al Sharpton: “I’m happy to be here.”
Host: “Al, what do you do for a living?”
Al Sharpton: “I iz one of dem race-baiter types. And I got me a show on MSNBC.”
Host: “Fantastic. What do you do in your free time?”
Al Sharpton: “I hang out wit my close personal friend, da president of da United States, Barack Hussein Obama. He’s da head race-baiter, you know. But I tell him wut to do.”
Host: “Great, Al! So you know how to play the game: you get four guesses at a right answer to one of our questions. Each contestant starts with a bank of $5,000. But for each wrong answer, you lose a thousand dollars in that bank until you do reach the correct answer. Are you ready, Al?”
Al Sharpton: “I’z ready.”
Host: “Okay, Al: the topic for today’s question involves black teens in Oklahoma who brutally murdered a man from Australia because he was white.”
Al Sharpton: “And dey shoulda brutally murdered him.”
Host: “No, no, Al, not yet — please wait for the question. Now, here is a slide of four people. Three of them are the men in it are the men who murdered a white man because he was white. So only one of the people in the slide is the victim. Our question is: ‘Can you spot the victim?’”
Al Sharpton: “Hmm… Dat’s a tough one.”
Host: “Take your time.”
Al Sharpton: “If you hadda ask me who da victim wuz in all dis, I’d have to say Numba 1.”
Host: “No, Al — that’s not correct! You are down to $4,000, but you have three more guesses!”
Al Sharpton: “Okay. I pick numba 2.”
Host: “No Al, that’s not correct! Why did you pick number 2?”
Al Sharpton: “Cause, you just look at him and you know dat he was discriminated against. Dat’s Trayvon Martin, right?”
Host: “No Al, that’s not Trayvon Martin. Let me ask the judges… Yes, according to the judges, I am allowed to tell you that Trayvon Martin is not featured in the slide. Down to $3,000, you have two more guesses to spot the victim!”
Al Sharpton: “Okay. Numba 3.”
Host: “No, that’s not correct either, Al. Al, why did you pick number 3?”
Al Sharpton: “Cause, he looks like one of dem white mexicans — but he ain’t. But he duz look like one of dem dark Mexicans. Not dat I look at people according to da race dey are, but he should be in line before a white person — but only after a black person.”
Host: “Okay, Al Sharpton, you are down to two thousand dollars, and the fourth of your guesses: for two thousand dollars, can you spot the victim?”
Al Sharpton: “Uhh… I pick numba 1.”
Host: “Wrong, Al! Al, you picked number 1 already. Why did you pick number 1 again?”
Al Sharpton: “Cause I don’t see no udda victim in da pictures. Just dis cracka in a hat.”
Host: “Well Al, that’s how it goes. But congratulations, because even after answering all four questions wrong, you still walk away with a prize of one thousand dollars. Before you go, tell me: Is Barack Obama as dumb, corrupt and evil an asshole as you are?”
Al Sharpton: “Honestly? I would say we wuz even.”
Host: “Okay, Al Sharpton! Everybody, a big hand for Al Shaprton! Al, thank you for playing!
Al Sharpton: “You iz welcome.”
Host: “Let’s welcome our next contestant: Michelle Obama!”
Host: “Okay, Michelle: the topic for today’s question involves black teens in Oklahoma who brutally murdered a man from Australia because he was white.”
Michelle Obma: “And they shoulda brutally murdered him.”
