Yes.

It’s true!

(You could get a little more excited, okay?)

 

It was six weeks.

But honestly. it felt more like 42 days.

 

 

 

And, unlike Bill Clinton, one of us did have sex with that woman:

 

“Promise me you won’t put this picture on your website. Okay? Seriously.  Promise? — Don’t take the picture if you’re going to do that.  Okay?  Are you listening to me? If you do it, I swear — I’ll sue you. I’m not kidding!”

 

 

“Are you kidding? — Of course I don’t ‘take credit cards!’ I’ve got another client  in  fifteen minutes — just leave the cash on the table and get out here already! And do not put this picture on the Internet.”

 

 

 

 “He tried, but he did not have sex with me. I even made him beg.  It was quite pitiful.”

 

-Woman no one from TheFineReport.com had sex with. Unfortunately.

 

 

 

“Hey, I went the other way and begged him to have sex with me.  But he was taken in by that other woman first — just like those Jews are being taken in by those Chick-fil-A eating Judas Republicans… “Or  maybe – *sigh* — maybe my psychiatrist is right, and plastic surgery and a little leg just isn’t the answer anymore…  I wonder if I  got giant boob implants — and had Obamacare pay for them,  including the flight to Sweden… I could even take the whole family, and buy a ton of booze, too….”

Desperate former US House Speaker, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, who voters booted out of office in 2010.

 

 

“Nancy’s never asked me to have sex. Come to think of it, nobody’s ever asked me to have sex. Well, except Barack Obama, screwing me all these years. But I guess that’s not really sex, it is? It sure didn’t feel good. I always thought  getting screwed is supposed to feel good. At least that’s what Larry says in Hustler. I guess I’ll give it more time.”

-Desperate speaker of the House and a vain coward of historic proportions, John Boehner

 

“What’s sex?”

-Desperate personified.

 

Huma: “You brainless idiot! You incompetent buffoon of a contrivance! You ungracefully aging moron of historic proportions! — How could you not remember ‘sex’ is what Bill did to you the one night he could not find a hooker! — When he said ‘let’s hit the reset button! How could you not remember? Write it down, for Allah’s sake!”

 

 

“So that‘s what that was!  Huma, you’re the smartest de facto Secretary of State  ever!”

– Incredible Bozo, and current Secretary of State of the United States