THE FINE REPORT

Some fun, for the rest of us

‘We Made History!

Announcing: the ‘ESF’ Program

 

Michelle Obama announces Barack Obama’s new program, “Government Moans,” officially known as “Everyone Start %[email protected]#in.”

 

‘If you loved ‘Student Loans,’ you’ll love ‘Government Moans/ESF,’ where you can  %[email protected]# now, and pay later.

 

(And, yes — here are special rates for Green %[email protected]#ing)

 

Paralelling the historical signficance of the end of World Wars I and II, the end of slavery, the discovery of penicillin, the Battle of Waterloo, the Magna Carta, the Collapse of the Soviet government, and if not Alexander’s and Shaka Zulu’s exploit, Michelle Obama states the new U.S. government mandate to force insurance companies to provide $4.00 of free birth control every month has ‘made history.’

 

So, every month, women now will now get $4.00 worth of birth control for free, as well as sterilization on demand from their private insurers. What many Obama supporters  fail to realize is that their insurance rates will now increase over $50.00 per month to cover the mandate. In other words, women would have saved a small fortune over the years by simply buying birth control pills at Wal-Mart, or through the mail – or any pharmacy, for that matter – instead of through Michelle Obama.

 

Doh!

 

Like most remedies to avoid the consequences of  potentially negative behavior, the best remedy is usually free.  For instance, the most effective  male contraceptive for the sighted,  is known to be this:

 

 

*Please Note:  %[email protected]# charges in Columbia still apply.

 

 

“Enough already with damn %[email protected]#ing.  When can we start drinking?”

 

– Google co-founder Larry Page, post previous unsuccessful plastic surgery.

 

 “Everybody start %[email protected]#ing. Except Zimmerman!”

 

-Al Sharpton, Secret Service.  Man in gray suit remains unidentified

 

“Wait a minute — this was my idea! Don’t you remember my program, ‘Operation Head Start?’  And what about ‘No Child’s Left-Behind?’  Come on — give some credit here, where credit is due!”

 

– Former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi

 

Related Posts