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GE’s NBC Hires Obama’s Speechwriter To Write White House Sit-Com: (“The Romneys?”)

Published on May 14, 2012,

The latest hatchet job from NBC (a government-financed and controlled media entity, via government contracts with its parent, General Electric):


A thinly-veiled stab at the Romney family:

“1600 Penn”

“1600 Penn” is described as a “Modern Family-type” sitcom





So how about this sit-com? It’d be a lot funnier — and more realistic:

MSNBC Presents:

“The Obamaz!”

The All-American family!



Starring Barry Obama as The Prez!

The smartest man in America, at the lever of American enterprise



Starring Michelle Obama as The Glamorous First Lady!

Fashion and glamour icon, Michelle Obama, on $10 million vacation


Co-Starring Al Sharpton as Uncle Al The Bigot!

“Baby, you better no be no Jew, white Mexican, or especially not one of dem cross-dressin’ fags. Rememba, I don’t do anal, except for a lotta money. And it don’t look to me like you got it.”



Co-Starring Elizabeth Warren as Mother-in-law Lizzie ‘Sitting Stupid’ Sotelo!

“Barry’s part Indian-giver, too!”



Co-Starring Joe Biden as Joe The Butler!

“Eleven people coming for dinner tonight, right?”



Co-Starring Nancy Pelosi as Mrs. Busybody, The Loudmouth Housekeeper!

“What do I have to do, shout it in front of a microphone so you’ll hear? Okay, I’ll do it: You people are slobs! It smells like a barn in here!”




Co-Starring Hillary Clinton as Hillary The Hard-Partying Secretary!

“Oops! The smartest woman in America forgot about the security camera again.”



Co-Starring John Boehner as Mr. Blubber, The Hapless Opposition Leader!

 “Not fair — they never let me win!”




And the Obama Girls, Gone Wild!

“Hey, at least I kept my top on — my sister didn’t!”



Musical performances by Welfare Queen!

 “Now I got two reputations to look out for!”



And special musical guest, The New Black Panther Minstrels!

 “All right boys, let’s pick it up from the top:   “America… America…  God shed his grace on thee….  And crown thy good with brotherhood, from see to shining sea!’…  One more time! — ‘America… America…'”




The reviews are!  Says arbitor of taste, George Clooney:

“It’s hilarious!! Even my agent laughed! And he never laughs at anything!!






Special thanks to Scooter Van Neuter at Bighairynews.com for his art and his courtesy.




Copyright 2012 TheFineReport.com



Hugo Chavez Returns Home After More Mutilation at Hands of Cuban Healthcare System Doctors

Published on May 14, 2012,


Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returned home Friday after 11 days of cancer treatment in Cuba, saying his latest round of radiation therapy was successful. “I still have some body parts,” said Chavez.  “Of course, I must rigorously follow the medical advice in these coming days in order to continue recuperating,” Chavez said.





The Fine Report has the exclusive on the medical advice Chavez received. It was short, but concise:


Havana Hospital Clinico Quirugico de 26

Paciente: Hugo Chavez
Consejo: “Make appointment with Jewish doctor in New York,  hazlo tan pronto como puedas!”




To see the hell-hole that is the Cuban healthcare system actually is:



Marty Malamute: Can we have a frank discussion about our country?

Published on May 13, 2012,

 From Martin “Marty” Malamute, political analyst for The Fine Report:


“At some point, we need to have a very frank discussion about the future of our country and this dog-eating fraud we’ve got in high office.  I believe that in a few weeks, the reality is going to sink in to the Obama White House that with their current advisers, they’re going to get their tails kicked in November. At that point, they are going to then accept outside professional management in the White house until at least the election. (Look for the return of some of the people who got ‘Bark’ elected in 2008 to reappear. And don’t think they’re going to help just to get thrown a bone — they’ll extract big political paybacks.) So things are get more challenging for us as their new people come at us with their fur up. But I still think we’re going to send this a-hole packing, and with his tail fully between his legs, so do not get discouraged, no matter what they throw at us. Trust me: their bark will be worse than their bite. So all you conservative political animals: keep your temper on a short leash, but your teeth very, very sharp (and free of tartar — you’ll avoid that ‘doggie breath’ thing that could turn off a swing voter).  And remember: if you haven’t had your vet squeeze your anal glands this year, do it now, so you don’t wind up like nose-pickers Obama and Hillary Clinton, and get caught on camera licking your ass.”


“‘Till next time,”

Marty Malamute, political analyst for The Fine Report



A review of Marty’s polticial no-no’s:



“Depending on how much money you have, you really can pick your nose. But no matter how much money you have, you cannot pick your family.”

-Michael Jackson, picking his nose




Published on May 13, 2012,



It is an axiom of life, and, by the way, an accurate but unfortunate method to tell if someone is truly a loser.


(Seeing you will remind them of who they really are, and they will hate you for it.)


– Loser.









-Oprah was shoved aside by Michelle Obama, just as Oprah’s audience shoved her aside as they realized she helped put a lunatic and his crazy wife in White House.


(It took a construction crew and a backhoe, but eventually she was shoved aside.)


 In his new book, “The Amateur: Barack Obama in the White House,” journalist Edward Klein reveals how even former friends and political allies of the president have become frustrated with his remoteness and bungling of crises. Klein, former editor of The New York Times Magazine and frequent contributor to Vanity Fair, interviewed numerous members of Obama’s inner circle.



(All right, back to the jokes:)


“Isn’t Oprah lovely? So calm and collected as she gets stabbed in the back by the loser she miraculously put in White House. So, so lovely. As lovely as Michelle Obama, who is so calm and collected as she stabs Oprah after beginning to hate Oprah for reminding her of her suspect past and her inherently trashy nature.  Mitt and I are thinking of appearing on Oprahs’ show with Michelle, where we might announce our endorsement of Michelle’s lovely husband, ‘The Amateur.'”

-Ann Romney



Drawing may provide insight into Iran’s nuclear intentions

Published on May 13, 2012,
VIENNA –  A drawing based on information from inside an Iranian military facility creates suspicion among U.N. inspectors that Tehran is conducting tests in a containment chamber of the type neeed for atomic bomb testing.




-Rendering of suspicious drawing discovered in Iranian nuclear facility.




 ‘This whole thing has been just too easy. It really has.”




“Isn’t he just so calm and composed for a man destroying the greatest nation on Earth?  I think he’s as lovely as his wife. Both, just so lovely. Mitt and I are both considering endorsing him this November.”

-Ann Romney


Lincoln was right: you CAN ‘fool some of the people all of the time’

Published on May 13, 2012,

“You can fool some of the people some of the time. You can fool some of the people all of the time. But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”

-Former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln



Obama voters, fooled all of the time:


“Because if I was dead, I wouldn’t be ‘in,’ right?”




(OTHER way, dopey!)




“We not only believe in Chang, we love him!”




“Thank you! Wow, I didn’t think people outside NanoBioMedicine academics read my overview on the development of table-top x-ray microscopes for 3D intracellular and molecular imaging. Apparently, you two did! If you have any questions about the improvement optimization (I know, I know — you’d think the acquisition time would be set already for the build) don’t hesitate to ask.”


Chang Chang, Ph.D., Drexel University, Philadelphia, PA




“What’s an ‘academic?'”


Tech Talk, With Guest Expert Al Sharpton

Published on May 13, 2012,


Question: What is the difference between a $30  1.14 HDMI cable from a reputable online dealer, and a $150  1.14 HDMI cable from Best Buy?


– HDMI cable


Answer:  $120


Guest expert, MSNBC’s Al Sharpton explains:


“HDMI means ‘High Definition Media Interface.’ It sends da audio and da video at da same time. Dere’s different kinds, like dere’s different kinds of Mexicans. For instance: you need a 1.14 type HDMI cable to use 3D, just like you need a white Mexican to utilize racial divisiveness. So without dat 1.14 designation, you can’t get dat 3D outta da cable box, just like without dat white Mexican, you can’t start a riot. So unless you got dis 1.14 cable, dat 3D signal you trying to make work is gonna just show up blank, or the signal gonna cut out at times. And when you watchin’ dat porn, I found it always cuts out at da crucial time, and I gotta wait and start all over again. And wouldn’t ya know, it always seems to happen right after my show, while I’m sittin’ around waitin’ for dat car to pick me up. (I don’t know if you rememba, but my own car got repossessed. Hopefully, you forgot.)  Just be sure when you buy dis cable online, you don’t get ripped off by no Jews trying to sell you some inferior cable, like dey always trying to do. Da best deal I found was from da ‘Zimmerman HDMI Cables R Us Company’ (dey got dat free shipping, moneys back guarantee and good reviews, too), but I wouldn’t buy it cause of dat name. Cause now dat he’s out, dat Zimmerman probably started dis company, knowing black people needs dem cables in particular, bein’ his trial is comin’ up on TV, as well as dey watching me on MSNBC all da time.


“Hope dat answers your question!”


-GE’s MSNBC television host, race-baiter, anti-Semite, homophobe, Obama-intimate and now HDMI expert Al Sharpton




“Great piece, Al. I always wondered what ‘HDMI’ meant. So  what does ‘cable’ mean?”

“Dat’s my next column, Barack. I don’t want to give away da surprise answer yet.”


-Lecturer, race-baiter, anti-Semite, homophobe and HDMI expert Al Sharpton with his close friend and political ally, the president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.





“Have you sh-t-for-brains connected the dots** yet?”

-Former U.S. Senator Blutto Blutarsky



“Isn’t Al Sharpton just so calm and composed for a man unofficially in charge of helping Barack Obama destroy the social fabric of the greatest nation on Earth?  Being he’s got that TV show and doesn’t need to scream as  much anymore, I think he’s lovely. Like Michelle Obama. Both, just so lovely. Mitt and I are both considering Al for the V.P. slot this November, if we don’t endorse Barack instead.”

-Ann Romney



*For some further HDMI info:



**The phrase “connect the dots,” is a way of suggesting that if someone considers various pieces of evidence and then considers them in the aggregate, that person will see the obvious truth about a matter under consideration. (Or not, if you’re a supporter of Barack Obama, yet you are not a socialist or communist.)


Copyright 2012 TheFineReport.com



Former Romney ‘Dumbass Strategy’ Is Back

Published on May 13, 2012,


(Mitt, it is time to ditch your ‘Etch-a-Sketchers of stupid,’ once and for all.)



The gag fell off Ann Romney’s mouth, and the Romney ‘dumbass strategy’ flew back into action:


Ann Romney: “Michelle Obama is ‘lovely.”


Ann Romney praises Michelle Obama for “keeping her calm” and having “composure.”










“Wow! Now, all the democrats will vote for Mitt! All the corrupt talks show hosts will love Ann Romney! Golly gee!”


No, dumbass!  Just as you started jamming it to this lunatic and got your base to grow a woody for you, you screw up by sending your wife out to slap it down.


Perhaps if Ann Romney looted the U.S. Treasury of $20,000,000.00 for personal vacations as Michelle Obama did, and has a staff of 29 servants being paid by the U.S. Treasury as Michelle Obama does, a news and entertainment media doing her thinking and dressing, as well as further understanding that the Obamas are quite content watching the disiintegration of the United States, she’d understand why Michelle Obama is feeling ‘calm and composed.’


Is Ann Romney next going to praise Osama bin Laden’s ten wives for being ‘calm and composed’ during the U.S. raid that waxed him?


Mitt, it is time to ditch the ‘Etch-a-Sketchers of stupid’ on your staff, once and for all.  Stop pouring cold water on the passions of people who would fight to elect you.


And at the very least, the Obama’s don’t need you to sing made-up praises. They have a completely corrupted news media doing it for them.




Lovely this,  you @#$%&!!”



Published on May 12, 2012,


Forget Match.com or Ilikebeingtiedupandgettingtheshitbeatoutofme.com – we can do it better. And for free:



Hottie Seeking Blind Man, or Aztec:

I’m an adventurous babe, hot-bodied and hot-blooded, but a completely lovable hair stylist. I finally found employment in a coal mine, but I am truly an outdoors girl at heart. I don’t like most guys (especially ones with good eyesight) but my true love just might be you!  Here’s hoping we can find love and live together into our golden and dark-green years.
Must have own dog or sacrificial alter, and must not be magnetic.
 –Petunia 4549, c/o thefinereport@gmail.com



TV Personality Seeking Womans:

Hard-hittin’, justice seekin’ black man wit TV show, seeks womans for companionship and more. Much more. I like going to dem movies once in a while, and drinking, and dancing sometimes, and watchin’ dem porno DVDs.  I used to be into preaching, but dat cut into da profits. Unless you got a lot of money: no white-Mexicans, Jews or anal.
Can’t be named Zimmerman, either.
 -Al 8275, c/o thefinereport.com

Obama administration assures Bahraini crown prince with massive sale of sophisiticated arms

Published on May 12, 2012,


“Mrs. Clinton, I don’t care if you’ve had your arm up your nose to your elbow: on behalf of every Muslim radical in my country, I surpress my urge to gag and I sacrifice my hand for all the air defense systems, ground-based radars, AMRAAM air-to-air missile systems, Seahawk helicopters, Avenger air-defense systems, and parts for F-16 fighter engines you are selling us that  will eventually be used against Israeli and American troops.  How the United States put the most piteous and incompetent woman in American public life in the position of Secretary of State, I will never know. I’ve met them all, and truly, you are the dumbest diplomat on Earth. I can only bless Barack Obama for appointing you.”


“Thanks Prince Crown!”






“Who put this dipsh-t, slimy,  sh-t-for-brains a-hole in the position of Secretary of State?!  …Who?  Oh yeah, right: ‘Barack-Suck-My-C-ck Obama.!’  And who elected that dickwad president??  Come on!! — What a-hole voted for a dog-eating, nose-picking, moose-marrying commie to run my f-ing country?!  Huh?!  Raise your hand, a-hole, so I can ram this goddam bottle up your ass!!”

-Former U.S. Senator Blutto Blutarsky



Closing Evening Comment

Published on May 12, 2012,

Lest anyone forget the face of ‘snatching defeat from the jaws of victory:’


U.S. Speaker of the House John Boehner: loser personified.



Published on May 12, 2012,


The Fine Report, hits 500,000 in less than 3 weeks!


The Congratulations are rolling in!


Sukanya RoyIdits, 2011 National Spelling bee champion: “You probably all have cymotrichous. And you are a bunch of idiots!  I-d-d-i-o-t-s!”


Al Sharpton: “Dat dem dere duh dat dere dem does dum damn duh dat da does dum dat dem dum dem dere, Zimmaman!  Hey, and ain’t 500,000 what I owe in back taxes?”


Washington Post Publisher Katherine ‘Mouthwash’ Weymouth: “That’s exactly how much money I made my first decade as a prostitute*. Of course, AIDS, Hep-C drugs and decent mouthwash were more expensive back then.”


George Clooney: “The funniest stuff on the web. I’m glad you’re doing the work the leftist entertainment industry won’t. It seems like only yesterday that you guys hit 499,999. Thanks to you, I am now a Romney man. We will have a party at my house.”


Jennifer Aniston: “I was not scratching my crotch! I was digging for money! – To give to starving people! – To charity!  Ross, I was not scratching my crotch!”


Nancy Pelosi: “All I can say is that TheFineReport.com is a refreshing change from the lies that go on for what is now put on as news these days. Did I just say that?”


Peter Slipper: “I’m afraid to say anything, or you might turn it around on me and make a play on my name. So I’m not going to say anything. You will not make me slip – I’m going to keep my lips zipped.”


Convict Politician Keith Judd: “And here I thought I had a scam going before I got locked up. How long did it take to get this crappy website  up and running — ten minutes? Seriously, I think I can do it better in my sleep  (that is, if my cellie keeps his hands to himself).  And don’t think I’m not gonna try, when I get out.”


John Boehner: “Please don’t mention my name. Please. I swear,  I’ll do anything. Except something brave. Anything but brave. Please! I’ll even pick up where ‘Mouthwash’ Weymouth left off. (Is it ‘Mouth,’ or ‘Mouthwash?” I think ‘Mouthwash’ sounds a lot better.)”


Rhinotillexomaniac, Barack Obama: “Just for that, I’m going to shake your hand. For a long time.”


Rhinotillexomaniac, Hillary Clinton: “Ditto that.”


The Professor: “See what a little scholarly class can do for a website? But I’ve never seen so many typographical and spelling errors in my life. What’s the name of this website, anyway?”


Ted Bundy: “Electrifying stuff. You guys kill me.”


Eric Holder: “What happens to Sheriff Joe is nothing compared to what’s going to happen to you. Nothing!”


Jay Carney: “Holder did not say that. What makes you think he said that? I assure you, he did not say that. Remember: I do not lie.”


Vladmir Putin: “If this website enters Russian data lines, it is your ass.”


TSA Agent Freddie the Fist: “I’ll be seeing you guys at the airport.”


Cher: “I don’t care if you’re not homophobes! You’re homophobes!”


Woody Allen: “You guys are just jealous that I can schtup Lindsay Lohan under restaurant tables, and you can’t.”


Rod Stewart: “Every penis tells a story. So I’m glad you’re telling  yours.”


Google CEO Larry Page: “I will break you.”


Senator Blutto Blutarsky: “Finally, someone’s got their sh-t together.”


Fred Armisen: “Big deal. I could do what you’re doing, if I wasn’t busy being a coward and a sell-out.”


Michelle Obama: “#$%& you too!”


Julia “Donuts” Blubberowski: “Who is this Fine Report?


L.A.’s failed Mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa: “Thanks for the hat tip! Don’t forget to watch my big speech at the Democrat convention!”


John Kerry: “If you put the kibosh on the story, I’ll contribute some of the $193,000,000.00 I embezzled using Senate inside information. Theresa said I could. You can trust me.”


TFR Editors: “You can blame this all on Oleg Atbashian**.”



*Denotes parody, social and political commentary.



** Oleg Atbashian is the creator of the PeoplesCube.com, and author of the book, “Shakedown Socialism.’ He is also a mentor to this website.



Thought for the evening…

Published on May 12, 2012,

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”


-Martin Luther King, Jr.





– Magazine expose of Al Sharpton. (No joke)



Published on May 12, 2012,

BREAKING: Washington Post Publisher Katherine Weymouth worked as a prostitute* in college?


Katherine ‘Mouthwash’ Weymouth, booking photo, in her days as a prostitute, strung out on meth?*


– Weymouth’s newspaper recently published a false story about American poltitician, Mitt Romney, accusing him of physically abusing a person. The Washington Post has yet to apologize. (NOT PARODY)  If parody is ever in order, it’s now, isn’t it?  So, let’s do it!



‘Mouthwash’ Weymouth comes clean?*


“My pimp at the time – Fillmore —  shortened my name, and called me ‘Mouthwash.’ It was hard, disgusting work. Let’s tell it like it is: I was a whore. (After the Romney false hit-piece I published, some people are calling me a whore now!  Ironic, huh?) But when you got a drug habit, you have to pay for it, no matter how.  Coming clean now feels good to me — almost as good as it must feel to Jennifer Aniston when she’s scratching her crotch. And no more need to gargle 50 times a day. That, and publishing a newspaper. What more could a former b.j. queen and crackhead ask for? And, I get paid a lot, too.”*


– Today: clean and sober? Former b.j queen: “But sometimes I yearn for the past. So I’ll gargle here and there, just for old times sake.* These days, I get my ‘whore fix’ by further destroying what was once a great newspaper and selling out my country to blindly shill for a handful of corrupt politicians.”



“That is some funny stuff, boy!  That is what I call ‘parody!’ Keep it up, you guys , you’re doing important commentary — and slaying me at the same time Hey, isn’t this what Saturday Night Live is paying those sell-out a-holes they have on staff to do?”


-Actor George Clooney




*Retraction and apology to Weymouth: same as WAPO recently gave to Mitt Romney. And that’s a lot, from a humble website, to a giant international organ. (Steady ‘Mouthwash,’ don’t get excited — we don’t mean that kind of organ.)




Martin Luther King Jr.: “A lie cannot live.”


Obama’s own doctor: ‘THE GUY SUCKS!’

Published on May 11, 2012,


Barack Obama’s former doctor claims that Obama lacks passion, feeling and humanity. He also believes Obamacare will be a disaster for the nation:


-From the new book, The Amateur, by Edward Klein



( “So I began to use my entire fist during his prostate exams, just to give him a little extra  ‘humanity.’ No lubricant, either. But I don’t think he gets it.”)





Obama: “Sometimes I forget how bad the recession is.”



(“Between golf, vacationing, flying around on Air Force One and partying with George Clooney, who has time to think about it? Besides, it’s all part of the Cloward-Piven* plan.”)


Barack Rhinotillexomania Obama




*The Cloward-Piven plan:




Published on May 10, 2012,

Al Sharpton: GOP Declare ‘War on Black People’ — Time To ‘Fire Back’ 



“Rememba — G.O.P. means, ‘Gots to Oppress People!'”

– Race-baiter, anti-Semite and Barack Obama-intimate, Al Sharpton



“It’s da war on black peoples!”

– “Excuse me?”



“And it’s da war on dem womens people!”

“So that‘s the psycho that’s on MSNBC!”



“And it’s da war  on dem immigrants people!”

-“Of course this is very sad and frightening, but it’s also getting kind of funny.”



“Now, it’s da GOP war on us dancing peoples!”


-“Dat’s it baby, put your knee right up dere!”



“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.  So a ‘war’ on ignorance, is what I think it’s time for. And it’s time to get rational again. And time to vote malignant people out office, and ensure no one like them is ever again put in a position to disgrace our nation’s  dignity. I had a ‘dream’ my friends, not this nightmare. So yet again, we will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.”

–  “And another thing: what happened to the war on war?”    Martin Luther King, Jr.



The nightmare:







Serial-Killer Ted Bundy, Among Others, Responds to TIME Cover

Published on May 10, 2012,


Liberal periodical TIME Magazine, recent cover:




“It was exactly a dumb c-nt like that woman who turned me into the monster I was.  Exactly. Why don’t they put that on the cover?”


Executed serial killer, Theordore Bundy.  Bundy expressed a lifelong resentment toward his mother.





….What?? Why are you upset about the language?  We thought that’s how you like to talk about women:


Bill Maher Calls Sarah Palin The ‘C-Word’ During His Stand-Up Act



“Sarah Palin Is A C-nt” say Obama Supporters





“This is an absolute glofication of pedophila”


Hey there!


“That poor child has a tort case against not only his mother, but against Time Magazine. The state and federal governments also have criminal cases against them, as this is arguably child pornography. The most basic legal definition of child pornography is ‘a sexually explicit image or film of a person under 18 years of age.’ In my opinion, the act itself of that mother (if it is his mother — and if it’s not, she is going to wind up in prison)  is deranged, but the act of putting her child in public view in that manner is criminal — as is Time’s production and publication of the picture. It is also an act of child abuse — even if the child ‘agreed’ to pose for the picture, because this young child does not have legal capacity to have given permission to be photographed doing what he is doing. This is an absolute  glorification of pedophilia. Hopefully a court will step in an appoint a guardian ad litem for this child to sue both Time Magazine, the photographer, the crew, and anyone involved in the distribribution and sale of this issue. Then, there is the case this child has against his mother. Hopefully, and if there is any justice, she won’t be his mother for long. The earlier we can step in, the sooner this child can begin healing, and avoid a life of circular recovery, and possibly a depravation of his freedom or his victimizing anyone. Excluse me for the harsh language, but the lunatics who came up with this idea probably came up with the idea that racism causes global warming. (If anything, racism causes global cooling, because if a certain segment of the population is kept impoverished, they will consume less energy. But that’s another discussion). Boy, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Until next time!



“I’m back. Sorry, but wow, I’m really upset.  Now I can’t remember what I did with a purple sticky-note I’ve been looking for. If anybody sees, it, let me know. But more importantly, we have to get the government on top of this, and get this kid a lawyer.”


Professor Papalopolopolis’ C.V.:










“I promise, kid: if I find them, I will kill every last one of the mother-f-ckers.”

Jack ‘Have Gun Did Travel’



Who is Jack ‘Have Gun Did Travel?’




“Don’t bother, Jack. Just get them locked-up. We know how to take care of creeps like these on the inside.”

Inmate Keith Judd, 53,  who while incarcerated, almost beat Barack Obama in a state primary election.




Copyright 2012 TheFineReport.com





Published on May 10, 2012,

In our new feature, ‘Ask A Muslim!,‘ we asked American Muslim, Amir Abdel Ammar a question weighing heavily on the minds of many Americans:


TFR: “Which processor would you recommend on the new 21 inch iMac?”


AMMAR: “Depends on what you’re doing with it. If you’re an average user, the 2.5Ghz processor is fine. If you’re going to do video editing or gaming, go with the 2.7 for the extra two hundred bucks. But I have the 2.5, and I’m pretty happy with it.”


TFR: “Thanks.”


AMMAR:  “You’re welcome.”



Wait — we have another Muslim looking to weigh-in:



Barack Hussein Obama: “What’s a processor?”






Obama “Finishes His Evolution”

Published on May 10, 2012,

The ‘American Evolution’ of 2012: “Give me a nostril, or give me death!”


The very latest “news” media propaganda for Barack Obama: 

MSNBC, forwarding the Associated Press:



“Obama has officially finished evolving. He now has a new position.  Until very recently, much of the betting was on Obama taking a pass on the touchy issue until after the election. On Wednesday, he picked it.



Old position picked:



New position picked:



Other old position picked:



New position picked:

Doh!! — Wrong hand and wrong part of the body!
(Nor is a look of hate on your face recomended when saluting the flag. But then, the Obamas have never willingly saluted the American flag, so it’s understandable they do it uncomfortably and do it wrong. Here, each puts their left hand instead of the appropriate right hand over their right lung instead of their heart. And their look of disgust?  It’s okay — we don’t like them, either.)






Hillary Clinton, the ‘refereshing new farce disgrace face in politics,’ gives the battle cry for the ‘American Evolution:’ “No King, but, King Jesus!*.”


” Jesus, is this a king-size…”



*“No King, but, King Jesus” was Benjamin Franklin’s favorite battle cry of the Revolutionary War.


Chicago Democrat Politicial Figure Arrested for Beating Her Daughter

Published on May 10, 2012,

-The suspect, Democrat Natalie Manley



The victim said she had come home and told her mother, Chicago Democrat political figure Natalie Manley, she had lost her phone. Manley then began to hit her daugher in the face with closed fists, kicked her about the body and struck her with a set of keys.


Said the suspect “I’m a Democrat. I even beat my children liberally. She’s lucky I didn’t whack her.”

Britain’s ‘Obamacare’ Service: Don’t Say ‘Obese’

Published on May 10, 2012,




The British government wants health care workers to stop using the word ‘obese’ because it might offend fat people, according to new recommendations of the National Health Service, Britain’s equivalent of the newly enacted ‘Obamacare’ system in the United States.


Guidance sent to health officials warned that “the term ‘obesity’ may be unhelpful – while some people like to ‘hear it like it is,’ others may consider it derogatory.”  Instead, individuals who are morbidly obese should be “Merely Urged To Try,” the Daily Mail reported.



Obese people in Britain will now be referred to as “MUTTs.”


– British “MUTT.”





“I’ve got enough of a complex about my weight as it ’tis.  I don’t appreciate this at ‘tall!”

– British mutt.



Putin Cancels Meeting With Barack Obama

Published on May 10, 2012,



– Putin, at parade commemorating victory over America Germany.


Russian President Vladimir Putin is skipping a planned visit to the United States this month and a much-anticipated meeting with President Barack Obama, the White House announced Wednesday.


“Besides,” said Putin, “there are two things I never do: one, travel to meet someone about to be booted out of office. And two, put myself in a position to shake hands with a nose-picker.”




-Actor Georege Clooney


Putin continued: “And you’ll notice I never met with Hillary Clinton either.  (So I hear your ‘news’ operatives hit her ‘reset button,’ and now she’s the ‘refreshing new image in politics.’ That was very funny, by the way. Even Defense Minister Serdyukov laughed!)”


The ‘refereshing new farce disgrace face in politics.



-Actor Georege Clooney


ABC “News:” Al Qaeda’s latest designs involve bombs surgically implanted in terrorists

Published on May 9, 2012,



So if you thought the TSA’s Freddie The Fist was bad —


The Fist, checking a suspicous package.



— wait till you get groped at the airport by these guys:


– If you reserved a window seat, you’re going to get one — literally.




Canada’s New Twenty Dollar Bill Under Fire For being “pornographic”

Published on May 9, 2012,






Please feel free to dispose of any of it you might have in the receptacle provided at the top right-side of this screen.



OVERHEARD: Barack Obama on the phone with British Prime Minister David Cameron

Published on May 9, 2012,


Obama: “This is driving me crazy. Just so I’m clear: you’re saying ‘Great Britain’ and the ‘United Kingdom’ are the same place?”

Cameron: “Seriously — who the devil is this?”







“Don’t worry. I get out in a few months, and I’m comin’ to save ya.”

– Incarcerated criminal Keith Judd, who nearly defeated Barack Obama yesterday in a state primary election.




How unpopular is Barack ‘Who’s Sane?’ Obama? THIS unpopular:

Published on May 9, 2012,

Meet the real ‘refreshing new image in American politics’


“I thought that was me. …hic… Damn, lost again.” 




A CONVICT gets 40% of vote in West Virginia primary vote; Madman: 60%



 -Seriously, what’s not to love about this guy? He hasn’t even been convicted of anything. Yet.




The ‘refreshing new image in politics’: a guy in prison for 17 years is almost as popular as the current president of the United States.

“I may be a crook, but I never ate my dog.”  Inmate Keith Judd, 53, currently incarcerated for committing extortion.




Remember, he who laughs last, laughs best…

-Golden Retriever, with excellent teeth.



“Yes, but the president will still get the criminal vote in the general election, because criminals have long been part of the Obama base. And they can’t say this president hasn’t delivered for them.”

-White House Press Secretary, ‘Baghdad Jay’ Carney

(Image courtesy of Peoplescube.com)


Mugshots of the loyal base:




Hillary ‘Rodham’ Clinton, the ‘refereshing new image in politics’ – a pictorial history of her early life

Published on May 8, 2012,


Now that Hillary Rodham Clinton is the Washington Post’s ‘refreshing new image in politics’ (see previous post, below), we take a look back at her early days, before she somehow became the ‘Smartest Woman in America’ (as she has long  touted herself to be, with an intellect rivaled only by our 4th Greatest President, the dog-eating Barack Hussein Obama):




-Hillary Rodham, circa high school.




-Hillary Rodham, circa college.




-Hillary Rodham, circa law school.




-Husband Bill Clinton, circa college.




-The Rodham family, typical Sunday.






U.S. Secretary of Inebriation Hillary Rodham Clinton, boozing it up at a controversial party, while abroad in Columbia.



To be continued…

RINO Richard Lugar Gets the Hook

Published on May 8, 2012,

RINO Senator Richard Luger got the hook today from voters. Lugar, a quintessential ‘Republican in name only,’ has voted consistently against his party for decades.


Hey Lugar: don’t let the door hit you in the ass.




“You know, considering what that crazy Elizabeth Warren said about someone’s high cheek bones and being an Indian, I think with my slanty eyes, I could be part Chinaman.  I had a pretty good run in America — maybe I should go to Asia and try my hand  betraying supporters over there. You know, come to think of it, I could become the world’s first ChINO.”

-Rino Richard Lugar. (Footprint in rear-end not shown.)



Latest media spin: “Hillary Clinton, barefaced and bespectacled, is a refreshing image in politics”

Published on May 8, 2012,


Maybe there are enough people ignorant enough to buy this:


The Washington Post gushes:


“But we aren’t accustomed to seeing female politicians and politicos without camera-ready makeup and, God forbid, showing wrinkles. In fact, how many pictures in glossy magazines have probably been airbrushed to make Hillary picture-perfect?


“While I’m a makeup addict, it’s refreshing to see Hillary fresh-faced. She looked like a schoolgirl in the picture – the Hillary from her granola college days at Wellesley. It was the look that won her few fans back in Arkansas in her days as the state’s first lady. After all, Southern women love their makeup, and Hillary wore little.


“As Hillary prepares to exit the high-wire of politics, are we finally seeing the real woman? It seems so.”



What, they never saw these ‘refreshing’ images?


-Yes, Hillary Clinton, the “refreshing new image in politics.”




Cher Doesn’t Want to Breath Same Air as Romney

Published on May 8, 2012,

Cher (real name, Rhoda Horowitz):


‘Doesn’t want to breathe the same air as Romney and his ‘racist homophobic women hating tea-bagger masters’



Rhoda, you won’t find anyone here forcing you to breathe.


-The face — and hair — of crazy.  If only wigs were brains…


Though we do have some other air we’d like you to breathe:


Dinosaur Farts May Have Warmed Ancient Earth





Fellow crazy hair person. Only this one had talent:

-Famed ‘Wall of Sound’ music producer, Phil Spector, shown wearing a Cher wig during his trial for murder. (He was convicted, and now resides in a California prison, where he is working on his new sound, the ‘Sound of Walls.’)



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