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Obama bends over for kid

Published on May 28, 2012,

(Between bowing to foreign leaders and bending over for America’s enemies, he’s getting a lot of practice)

 

 

Kid: “Obama, my Dad told me you have no brains.”

 

Obama: “Your Dad is crazy. I have plenty of brains. See? — They’re in my head.”

 

(Obama bends down)

 

Kid: “Obama, you can’t fool me. That’s not your head. My Dad told me your head is up your ass.”

 

 

 

 
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‘Barack Obama’ (or whoever he is) is nuts.

Published on May 28, 2012,

 

‘President Spicoli’ has lost a few brain cells:

 

“Duhhh….”

 

 

Obama’s ‘Sons:’ They Are Real for Him

http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/05/obamas_sons_they_are_real_for_him.html#ixzz1wBS8mh95

 

Obama Again Mentions ‘My Sons,’ While Defending Contraception Mandate

http://cnsnews.com/blog/terence-p-jeffrey/obama-twice-mistakenly-mentions-my-sons-while-defending-contraception-mandate

 

-The ‘Obama boys’

 

 

“That dude is a righteous freak.  People who ‘choom’ should not be president!”

-The real Jeff Spicoli

 
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Honoring Our Fallen

Published on May 28, 2012,

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps in their honor this November, Americans won’t re-elect a traitor as its president.

 

 

 

-The traitor, caught on an open microphone telling outgoing Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to relay to Russian dictator Vladmir Putin that he will have “more flexibility” after the 2012 election to destroy America’s missile defense, if he is able to decieve voters again in November.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/obama-flexibility-remark-sadly-true-says-rep-wilson-202028893.html

 

 

‘Barack Obama’ (Barry Sotelo, or whoever he really is) is the first U.S. president in history to bow to a foreign leader, let alone a dictator, a communist or a monarch of  a nation America was once at war with.

 

 

 

November 2, 2012: America’s final chance.

 

 

 
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ONE MILLION HITS, IN OUR FIRST 5 WEEKS

Published on May 27, 2012,

 

 

 

“A million hits? Dude! You are my heroes!”

– Hits expert, Jeff Spigoli

 

 

“A million hits? You must be permanently wasted!”

-Barry Sotelo, on his own way to his millionth hit.

 

 

President Spigoli, still at it:

 

 

________________________________________________________________

 

Enough of these two malignant clowns. It’s time to get down to some serious ‘thank yous…’

 

Creating this website and generating 1,000,000 hits in its first 5 weeks would have been impossible without the design, guidance and on-going technical support of Oleg Atbashian, the author of Peoplescube.com.

(More amazing than the million hits is that he still speaks to us after all the aggrevation we’ve given him.)

We also thank the people at iowntheworld.com, for their attention, and the posting of our work prior to this website going live, and during its very new existence.

iOWNTHEWORLD.com

 

We also thank the people at Sadhillnews.com for their attention, and the posting of our work prior to this website going live, and their continuing encouragement.

 

 

And we thank you. For without you, there would be no hits at all.

 

 

 
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Occupy Berlin, 1926

Published on May 27, 2012,

The fascist movement in America:

 

Interesting documentary on YouTube about the rise of Hitler and the Nazi party in Germany (see link, below). Many parallels to today, including the tactics being used by the left and the Obama administration. You’ll be horrified by the similarities:

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m part Brownshirt, too.”

-Harvard lunatic, fraud and one of the faces of the modern American fascist movement, Elizabeth Warren

 

 

“So am I. Or, was. (Last I checked, I was dead.)”

-Nazi leader Adolph Hitler

 

 

“Me too. But I’m alive. I not only help fund the fascist movement in America, but I am intimate with your president.”

-Modern-day fascist, former Nazi collaborator during World War II and Obama-intimate,  George Soros

 

 

“Me three. I’m all in on the fascist movement in America. Maybe now you’ll understand why I called for a ‘civilian security force’ as large as, as well-funded and as powerful as the military. That ‘civilian national security force’ would have been my version of the Nazi Brownshirts shown marching on Berlin in the picture on topMaybe, if I get a second term… (In case you didn’t know it, Hitler was elected, too. No joke — he really was elected, just like like I was. Unfortunately for  me, there’s this damn Internet blogging thing that’s by-passing NBC, the New York Times and the other old news outlets in the bag for the fascist movement. Hitler didn’t have this problem. I do. But I also have the power of an Internet kill switch. Like I said, let’s see if I manage to get re-elected. Because then I’ll have that ‘flexibility’ I accidentally spoke about…)”

-Lunatic American president, Barack Hussein Obama (or whoever he really is)

 

The damning video:

“We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.” – Barack Obama

 

In other words, Obama wants an unconstitutional ‘civilian national security force’ (whatever the hell that is), to be over 2 million strong, have a budget of $700 billion dollars, be equipped with tanks, rockets, jets, machine guns, flame throwers, bombs, etc.

 

To protect against what?

— To to protect against you.

 

 

Meet some other ‘civilan national security forces’ of the 20th Century:

 

 

Hitler’s (the SS of Nazi Germany; over 6,ooo,ooo innocent civilians murdered)

 

 

Stalin’s (the NKVD of the Soviet Union; over 30,000,000 innocent civilians murdered)

 

 

Mao’s (the Red Guard of Communist China; over 80,000,000 innocent civilians murdered)

 

 

Pol Pot’s (Communist Cambodia; over 3,000,000 innocent civilians murdered)

 

 

Barack Obama’s thugs:

(This is without an official, government-funded ‘civilian national security force.’ Imagine if he is re-elected:)

 

#Occupy (Harvard University; Elizabeth Warren)

 

The GIVE Act Youth Brigade (this is now the law of the land)

http://www.kenknorr.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=57:the-qgiveq-act-hr1388-should-be-renamed-the-qtakeq-act&catid=41:politics&Itemid=62

 

The Black Panthers (protected by corrupt attorney general Eric Holder)

http://www.politico.com/blogs/joshgerstein/0311/Eric_Holder_Black_Panther_case_focus_demeans_my_people.html

 

SEIU and the union thug movement (Jimmy Hoffa)

http://www.therightperspective.org/2011/02/20/obama-vows-paint-the-nation-seiu-purple/

http://michellemalkin.com/2011/09/05/happy-labor-day-top-10-union-thug-moments-of-the-year/

 

ACORN voter fraud and street agitation apparatus (protected by corrupt attorney general Eric Holder)

http://spectator.org/archives/2009/01/27/acorns-stimulus

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/26/exclusive-acorn-playing-behind-scenes-role-in-occupy-movement/

 

“Attack Watch,” the anti-Semitic ‘rat-out your fellow citizen’ program:

http://www.publiusforum.com/images/Obama_Truth_Team.jpg

 

 

The 32 shadowy but powerful ‘czars’ in the Obama administration, including his rabid and bullying ‘anti-bully’ czar (“I wish Republicans were all f-ing dead!“):

http://www.westernjournalism.com/obamas-defacto-anti-bullying-czar-i-wish-republicans-were-all-fcking-dead/

http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/beltway-confidential/obamas-anti-bullying-czar-bullies-christian-kids/508246

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/29391/

 

 

Don’t let them get their wish for your death on November 2nd.

 

 

“Don’t worry — you’ve got me to protect you!”

-US House Squeaker, John Boehner

 

 
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Michelle Obama, Who Never Gardens or Wrote a Book, Has a New Gardening Book

Published on May 26, 2012,

 

William Ayers‘ Michelle Obama’s New Vegetable Book, ‘American Green Groan’

 

 

“For the first time in my adult life, I’m proud of something on American soil.”

 

-A basket case and ‘her’ book

 

“American Groan” will also include tips for starting your own garden. “With Barack destroying the economy, people better learn to grow food if they want to eat,” said Obama. The first lady did not take any advance for the project, and all proceeds will be donated to charity. “I’ll take a multi-million-dollar vacation, instead.”

 

Obama claims to be an enthusiastic gardener and has already transformed the White House South Lawn into a thriving vegetable patch. “It’s easy, especially with other people doing the work. It’s great to watch through the window. And every time I come back from vacation, the plants get bigger.”

 

Michelle’s gardening tips are simple. “First, have someone do the digging. Then, have someone do the planting. Then, have someone spread the manure (as good as Barack does when he’s on a podium). Then, have someone pick the stuff that grows. Then, if everything dies, hire a real gardener, to do it right. The trick is never to do the work yourself. I didn’t have Barack hire me 29 servants for nothing.”  When asked how she is expecting to grow vegetables to eat this spring when the growing season in fact over, Obama responded, “Who asked you, @#$%.”

 

 Obama will also include some of her favorite recipes. “Grease, pizza and ice cream  — put it on everything.”

 

Though this is her first book Obama said that she wasn’t apprehensive about the prospect. “I don’t know why I’m not really nervous about it. Maybe cause I didn’t write it. If people think it’s a stupid book, I can blame the people who actually wrote it. At least that’s how Barack felt when Ayers wrote his books.”

 

Since the Obamas’ arrival at the White House, Obama claims the garden has yielded more than 2,000 pounds of fresh fruits and vegetables. Asked how that figure was possible on such a small plot of land, she said, “Okay, some of it got bought at the supermarket. And who asked you anyway, @#$%?”

 

The first lady was joined by local schoolchildren in the planting session, in a bid to educate them about healthy eating, reminding them, “I eat first. And don’t forget to pick up the book and read it along with your communist teachers, and see at how we’ve indoctrinated incorporated you young people in our ‘garden.’” Asked show she incorporated young people into the garden, Obama responded, “Who asked you, @#$%?”

 

“Smell that? That’s manure. That’s why servants do any gardening around here, not me.”

 Asked why she began this hobby in the White House, she admitted it helped her compensate for lack of intimate attention she felt from her husband. “I had to do something with my time besides vacation. It was hard enough getting his ‘attention’ before Barack got elected, but now that he’s president, he’s always ‘too tired’ when he comes to bed, if you know what I mean. But he’s been saying that same old thing since I met him. Except twice. Between you and me, I think he’s getting high again. Either that, or there’s something funny going on again with that Reggie he always had around. But who asked you, @#$%?”

 

 

Obama shows the bounty from her dream garden:

 

“Carrots are important. They’re good for your eyesight. I mean, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses?”

 

 

“I always liked potatoes, but discovered a real love for the red potatoes I’ve been growing.”

 

 

“Eggplant is easy to grow, and it tastes good. And I found out there’s no eggs in it, in case you’re watching your cholesterol.”

 

 

“And then there’s mushrooms, which grow even if you’re not trying to plant them.”

 

 

“And then there’s cactus, which actually tastes pretty good in salad. And I found out they don’t need a lot of water. But you have to be careful of these thorns, otherwise someone on your staff could get hurt.”

 

 

“You’re probably saying to yourself, ‘How did she ever find out about eating cactus?’ Well, Barack and I ate some at my favorite motel in the Southwest.”

 

 

 

“There’s a national forest nearby that motel, so I made him camp out with me there. But again, that ‘too tired’ thing.

 

 

“The staff also grows squash, which I never realized could interest me as much as it has. One of these days, I’m gong to try eating it.”

 

 

“But don’t limit yourself to the usual garden items. Try something exotic, like ginger.”

 

 

 “And there’s zucinni, which has always been one of my favorites.”

 

 

“But remember, add fruit to your vegetable plate, too.”

 

 

“And lastly, don’t limit yourself to growing things in the garden.  As you can see here, you can grow  things on your head.”

 

 

 

“That George Soros better buy truckloads of my book, like he bought Barack’s, Hillary Clinton’s and that Rachael Madcow’s books– or else.”

Relaxing in the White House garden.

 

 

(FYI, THE COMMENTS SECTION IS NOW OPEN: just click on the blue title at the top of the post)

 

 
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Michelle Obama injured in skydiving accident:

Published on May 25, 2012,

 

The accident site:

 

 

The good news is she is expected to make a full recovery. However, repairs to the ground will take many months.

 

 

 

The official government aircraft that carries Michelle Obama.  Designation:
Air Force Ton

 

 

 

 
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January 2, 2013:

Published on May 25, 2012,

– At least they’ll still get free health care.

“Welcome to Mr. Glove’s neighborhood.”

 

 

 

 

(FYI: THE COMMENTS SECTION IS NOW OPEN)

 

 
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Buffett Says Free Online News Unsustainable: “Too much freedom of information!”

Published on May 25, 2012,

Buffett Says Leftist Propaganda Free News Unsustainable; May Add More ‘News’ Papers

 

Warren ‘Jimmy’ Buffett, whose Berkshire Hathaway/Livin’ On Spongecake Inc. (BRK/A) struck a deal this month to acquire 63 newspapers, said he may buy more publications as the industry rethinks whether to offer free content on the Internet.

 

“This no-cost, limitless free exchange of ideas is an unsustainable model and certain of our papers are already making progress in moving to something that makes more cents sense,” Buffett said. “We want to work out the blend of digital and print that will attract both the audience and the revenue we need. But don’t forget to factor in Obama’s hitting the Internet kill switch in 2013. The masses will then have to buy our newspapers to get any written information. Let those conservative bloggers trying publishing a newspaper.”

 

Jimmy is adding to Berkshire’s newspaper holdings with the $142 million deal announced May 17 for Media General Inc. (MEG) publications including the Richmond Times-Bullsh-t Dispatch of Virginia. The billionaire, who bought the Buffalo News in 1977  said in 2009 that newspapers have the potential for unending losses, especially a newspaper written for bison. “But I’m betting strong on  Obama’s Internet kill switch — and his re-election, of course — which will change his newspapers’ models. Fascism is good business,” Buffet said, “especially when you have a dolt for a leader who does to everything you tell him to do.”

 

While circulation may slip, Buffet claims papers only fail when there are dailies competing in the same town, a publication forfeits its position as the primary source of locally important information, the market doesn’t have a sense of identity, or there is no corrupt, malignant billionaire to prop them up. “Even without me —  can you say George Soros?” Buffet quipped. “But we don’t face those problems,” said Buffet, 81, and hopefully expiring soon, on the website of Berkshire’s Omaha World-Herald, accompanied by a live video of Buffet in his underwear, eating a platter of uncooked pig intestines. “Berkshire will probably purchase more papers in the next few years. We will favor towns and cities with people having nowhere to go once Obama cuts off non-Democrat outside information using the kill switch.”

 

Buffet said the company’s newspapers won’t “move the needle in terms of Berkshire’s economic value.”. When asked what that meant, Buffet apologized, explaining he missed a dose of his dementia medication.

 

In the Media General deal, Berkshire also gave the Richmond-based company a $400 million term loan with a stipulation that the company fund nine pornographic videos starring Bill Clinton. “After seeing those recent photos of him with those porn women in Monaco, it struck me this could be my ticket,” the billionaire said. “With a sequel to ‘Farm Girls Gone Bad’ featuring Clinton under my arm, I could be the next Larry Flynt!”

 

Media General has declined more than 90 percent since the end of 2003, and the stock is crashing as this article went to publication. “Soros will save us,” Buffet said, his face covered with swine offal, as he continued to gorge on his unusual meal.

 

The newspaper industry, suffering drops in print advertising, has recently embraced digital subscription plans. Still, they are still losing fortunes. The New York Times (NYT) Media Group began charging readers to access its propaganda news stories online last year, attracting about 454 454,000 paying subscribers as of March. The so-called online propaganda paywall is estimated to bring in $125 $125 million next year for Times Co., according to Douglas MacArthur, an analyst at Everdumb Partners Inc. (EDP). “The analysis just cries: ‘I shall return,'” MacArthur said of the propaganda newspaper business.”

 

Buffet, is an athletic supporter of President Barack Obama and Obama’s advocacy of higher taxes and laws mandating all geriatric nurses be bottomless. Buffet claimed the newspapers would remain independent in their coverage of public policy. “Independent of non-leftists viewpoints, that is. I have some strong political views, but Berkshire owns the paper , I don’t,” said Buffet, who owns Berkshire.  “And Berkshire will always be non-political. If you believe that, I have a Michelle Obama fashion line I want to sell you.”

 

The billionaire investor said that newspaper editors should focus on making the papers “indispensable” to commissars or reichsfuhrers in local communities.  “Our future depends on remaining the only primary source of information in certain subjects of great importance to our leaders readers ,” Buffett wrote. “Technological change has caused us to lose monopolies primacy in various key areas, including propaganda national news, national distractions sports, etc.  Our job is to reign supreme in matters of information to our leftist cause. But I will tell you this: invest in Internet kill-switch technology — it will be the growth stock if Obama is re-elected. Now excuse me, I want to finish my lunch.”

 

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/buffetts-berkshire-buy-media-general-124240186.html

 

Jimmy Buffet being awarded an honorary medal in the 100 yard dash, by his stooge ‘Barack Obama’ (or whoever he really is).

 

 

 
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DO NOT BUY ANYTHING FROM AMAZON.COM UNTIL THEY REVERSE THIS DECISION

Published on May 24, 2012,

 

BOYCOTT AMAZON.com:

 

(NO JOKE — )

Amazon.com caves to Communist Color of Change — drops ALEC (ALEC is an advocate of traditional American government)

 

From Legal Insurrection:

 

 While the secondary boycott of Rush Limbaugh has been only marginally effective, Color of Change has had more success getting major companies to drop their participation in the American Legislative Exchange Counsel (ALEC) by falsely tying ALEC’s support of “stand your ground” laws to the Trayvon Marin shooting, and falsely characterizing voter i.d. laws as racist.
It’s a complete stick up.
Via Michelle Malkin, Amazon.com is the latest company to cave in to pressure:
I received the following statement from Amazon.com today regarding its decision not to renew its membership with the American Legislative Exchange Council:
Thanks for reaching out to me. Each year we evaluate all of our association memberships and we’ve decided not to renew our participation in ALEC, in part because of positions that group took on issues unrelated to our business.
Best, Mary Osako Amazon Spokesperson
In other words: They caved. They chose to appease marginal agitators who have capitalized on the Trayvon Martin case to squelch conservatives’ participation in the legislative process.
I told you last month that State Farm and Johnson & Johnson are their next targets. AT&T is also on that list.
If you don’t speak up, they’ll cave, too.
Before you pull your dollars from Amazon, I suggest using your customer clout to pressure Amazon to reverse course. These companies need to hear from customers and investors that suppressing conservative political participation is not good for their business. Stand your ground.
Via HuffPo:
The giant Internet retailer Amazon.com Thursday said it will withdraw its membership from the American Legislative Exchange Council, the conservative public policy group that engineered controversial “stand your ground” gun laws and sweeping voter ID requirements that critics say threaten to disenfranchise minority voters.
The announcement was made during Amazon.com’s annual shareholders meeting in Seattle, as the hue and cry against the organization, known as ALEC, and the corporations that support it continues to rise. Outside the meeting at the Seattle Art Museum, more than 100 protesters hoisted signs and clogged the entrance. Inside, Amazon executives and lawyers took questions from shareholders, including some asking about the company’s membership in ALEC.

“This year, we’ve decided not to renew with ALEC, and it’s because of positions they’ve taken not related to our business,” Michelle Wilson, an Amazon attorney, told about 200 shareholders at the meeting, according to reports. Mary Osako, a spokeswoman for Amazon, later added: “Each year we evaluate all of our association memberships, and we decided not to renew our…

 

http://legalinsurrection.com/2012/05/amazon-com-gives-in-to-color-of-change-drops-alec/

 

WRITE JEFF BOZO* AT AMAZON:

Jeff Bozo, CEO

c/o AMAZON.COM

PO BOX 81226

SEATLE, WA 98108-1226

 

“Wait — so you’re saying that supporting communists is a bad thing?”

-Jeff Bozo, CEO of Amazon and greedy, political coward.

 

 

*Our apologies to Bozo The Clown.

 “Thanks. Don’t want to be compared to that clown!”

 
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Impeached former president and husband of Hillary, Bill Clinton, poses with pornographic film performers

Published on May 24, 2012,

 

This, from the former president who created an epidemic of oral sex among elementary school children as a result of the scandal of his having oral sex with a young White House intern, in the Oval Office, while on the (blow) job, and started a war in Eastern Europe to distract attention from it:

 

(No joke — )

 

In Monaco, Bill Clinton posed with a group of pornographic film performers. The films of the performers Clinton posed with include “Mission Asspossible,” “Baby Got Boobs 8,” and “Farm Girls Gone Bad.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/23/bill-clinton-porn-stars/

 

-Former impeached president, Bill Clinton

 

 

“I loved them all,” said Clinton. “But I particularly liked Mission Asspossible,’ because after the election of Barack Obama — or whoever he really is — I think that now anything is possible. And not just with someone’s ass.”

 

 

— And his favorite:

 

State Department Sexcapades

 

-Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton (left) with close personal aide (right). Because of her husband’s new friendships, Hillary is being considered for a starring role in “Mission Asspossible II.

 

 

 

 
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Comments??

Published on May 24, 2012,

 

“You can now make comments on this website? These I gotta hear! How do I post one?”

 

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former House Speaker, booted from office by voters in 2010/

 

 

“You click on da blue title of dis post, dummy! But only on da new posts  (not dem old ones).”

 

Race baiter, Jew hater, homophobe, MSNBC television host and Obama-intimate Al Sharpton

 
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Larry Flynt Explains the Law — Accurately!

Published on May 24, 2012,

 

(Matthew 21:16: And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?)

 

Out of the mouth of a ‘moral babe’ like Flynt…

 

 

No joke —

Hustler Magazine publisher Larry Flynt told The Daily Caller Wednesday that he had a right to publish a fake image of conservative commentator S.E. Cupp engaging in a sex act.

 

 

S.E. Cupp:

-Loves her country. And keeps her sex acts private.

 

 

“Now this is my kind of story!  Are those really C cups?”

-Degenerate and impeached former president, Bill Clinton

 

 

“That’s satire,” Flynt explained.

 

The latest issue of Hustler features an image of Cupp with a phallus in her mouth and a disclaimer that the picture is fake.  Flynt says that it is entirely within his right to publish the image.

 

“I’m able to publish this because of the Supreme Court case I won in 1984, Flynt v. Falwell.”  In that case, the Supreme Court found that the First Amendment protected Hustler’s decision to publish a 1983 parody of evangelical leader Jerry Falwell entitled “Jerry Falwell talks about his first time.”

 

According to the court, the parody — which suggested that Falwell lost his virginity during a drunken escapade with his mother in an outhouse — was protected speech because Falwell was a public figure. The case was decided in 1988 unanimously.

 

http://dailycaller.com/2012/05/23/hustler-publisher-defends-lewd-s-e-cupp-image-thats-satire/

 

 

“Doh!”

-Actor George Clowny, with mouth open wide, in anticipation of a gargantuan satirical penis that he will  be gagging on for the rest of his life.

 

 

“I ain’t openin’ mine.”

– Race baiter, Jew hater, homophobe, MSNBC television host, Obama-intimate and avoider of that same inevitable gargantuan satirical penis in his mouth, Al Sharpton.

 

 

“I wont’ fight it.  Please, just get it over with quickly.”

– GOP U.S. House Speaker John Boehner

 

 

“A penis in wha…?…  *hic*

U.S. Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton

 
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What Obama really meant to say…

Published on May 23, 2012,

 

He said:

 

“My policies forged a ‘different world'”

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2012/05/23/Obama-says-his-policies-forged-a-different-world

 

What the little man should have said:

 

“My forgeries policied a ‘different world'”

 

 

Welcome!

 

 

 “It’s amazing — I’m so smart, even I don’t know what I’m talking about.  Nor do those S.A.T. people, come to think of it.”

 

 

The ‘Barack Obama’ bizarro code:

 

 

“I love that code!”

-Fashion and glamour icon, Michelle Obama

 

 

 

 
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Boy genius, 5 1/2, invents simple, cheap test for qualification for office of President

Published on May 23, 2012,

 

Like the boy, 15, who recently invented a simple, cheap test for pancreatic cancer…

(http://now.msn.com/now/0521-cancer-test-prize.aspx?ocid=todnow11)

…Another boy, 5 1/2, invents a simple, cheap test for qualification to run for president.

 

Little Dennis Mitchell, 5 1/2, of Dayton Ohio calls it his “un-funny vetting” process:

 

“See, a candidate for president shouldn’t be laughable. That’s ‘the first big test.’ So first, you look at his birth certificate. If you don’t laugh, you take a look at his mom and dad. If you don’t laugh, you move on to the transcripts of his grades. If you do laugh, you look to see how  he got into and out of college with these grades. If you don’t  laugh, you move on to his writings as a student. If you don’t laugh, you look to see who his preacher was the past 20 years. If you don’t laugh, you look to see his personal relationships over the years. If you don’t laugh, you look to see the records of his wife’s education and employment. If you don’t laugh you look at his record in prior office and how he  managed to get elected over and over again by the same slim margin. If you don’t laugh, you read his writings as an adult. (If you don’t laugh then you probably believe he wrote them himself.) Then you take a look at the statements he’s made in public for the past few years. If you don’t laugh, you take a look at the people he has associated with, including terrorists, communists, Maoists, black separatists, race-baiters and stuff like that.  If you don’t laugh, then maybe he’s okay and he passes the first big test.  But all this is a lot of work for one person to do. So I have another invention: I call it the ‘news media.'”

 

“Well, that’s my ‘first big test’ invention. I have others I can tell you about, but my Mom says I have to go to bed now.”

 

-Dennis Mitchell, 5 1/2, boy genius

 

 
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‘Colin Bowel’ (there, we said it) not ready to endorse “transformational figure” Obama for re-election

Published on May 22, 2012,
WASHINGTON — Former Secretary of State Colin Powell declined Tuesday to renew the presidential endorsement he gave Barack Obama four years ago, saying he wasn’t ready “to throw my weight behind someone at this time. First, he’s got his wife’s enormous weight to throw around. Second, he’s transformed all right — into an idiot. Wherever I go now it’s, ‘Colin, you’re a real colon!'”

 

He said he thought Obama had “stabilized the financial system” following the deep recession of 2008-2009 and had “fixed the auto industry.” Powell also said he thought the country was on the right path toward ending the war in Afghanistan. “But  now I realize Obama destroyed the financial system, wrecked the auto industry, and lost the war in Afghanistan.”

 

Powell said he thought Obama needed to work more on the economy (“he should work, period”) and said he thought that he owed it to the Republican Party to listen to the proposals that likely nominee Romney will be offering, particularly on the economy. “I”m just praying Romney offers something, so that I can save face and not endorse this loser again and potentially get back my reputation. If I endorsed Romney, I bet he’d pick me for vice president.”

 

White House press secretary Jay Carney said Obama appreciated Powell’s endorsement four years ago. “Nobody else did,” said Powell. “I can’t even get a decent restaurant reservation any more. When I show up and they see it’s me, they give me a table in the back, next to the restrooms.”

 

Powell said that while he was the first black head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, “the way most people see me after my Obama endorsement, that and a buck-fifty will get me a ride on the bus. And big deal, anyway. When you think about it, there was a first white head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  From what I heard, nobody made a big deal about it.”

 

Last year, Powell told graduates of South Carolina’s premier historically black university that, among other things, he had been particularly heartened by a recent event. “That was when President Obama took out his birth certificate and blew away Donald Trump and all the birthers,” he told students. “But then I looked at the birth certificate and it all went to sh-t. I mean, a soldier couldn’t even requisition a pair of socks with a document looking that ridiculous on its face.”

 

Powell also supported Obama in getting the U.S. Senate to ratify the New START treaty with Russia, trimming the nuclear stockpiles held by both countries. “I mean, what the hell.  So I sold out America. But with everyone hating me, all I have left is to roll the dice with this lame-brain.”

 

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/may/22/powell-not-ready-endorse-obama-re-election/

 

 

A general colon bowel:

 

(‘Ano,’ to his friends.)

 

 

Copyright 2012 TheFineReport.com

thefinereport@gmail.com

 

 

 
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The Fraud of ‘Barack Obama:’ it’s all coming home…

Published on May 22, 2012,

 

Old theory: Barack Obama’s too smart and sensitive to be a good president

http://hotair.com/archives/2012/05/11/new-theory-maybe-obamas-too-smart-and-sensitive-to-be-a-good-president/

 

New theory: Barack Obama’s too dumb and loutish to be a good president

 

(Was it was his stupidity that confused them?)

 

Breitbart News has established that Barack Obama had grades and Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores lower than those of  George W. Bush.

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/22/Exclusive-The-Vetting-Obama-Wrong-on-Columbia-Admission-Transfer-Class-Had-Low-SAT-Scores-Grades

 

 

 

 

 
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Obama campaign: Get your pets involved

Published on May 22, 2012,

 

The Obama campaign would like you to get your pets involved with the campaign by offering doggie sweaters and “I Meow for Michelle” cat collars.

 http://nation.foxnews.com/obama-fundraiser/2012/05/22/obama-campaign-selling-pet-products#ixzz1veaBepdn

 

 

My cat, for Michelle Obama:

 

My dog, for Michelle Obama:

 

 

My ape, for Michelle Obama:

 

 

 My pink dinosaur, for Michelle Obama:

“Are  you kidding?  That fraud’s presidency can’t become extinct fast enough!”

 

 

My bacteria, for Michelle Obama:

“I’ll bet her SAT score was even lower than that fraud Barry’s!”

 

 

My House Speaker, for Michelle Obama:

“I’ll endorse her, if nobody else will!  Dumbass, 2012!”

 

 
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San Francisco to rename street after Pelosi

Published on May 22, 2012,

http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/beltway-confidential/san-francisco-rename-street-after-pelosi/554591

 

San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee will rename a street after former-Speaker Nancy Pelosi today in Golden Gate Park.

-San Francisco

 

 

San Francisco is the second city to name a street after Pelosi.  Baltimore, her home town, renamed a street in her honor in January 2007 shortly after she was elected Speaker of the House.

-Baltimore

 

 

“I’m very flattered.  The voters in 2010 were said to have torn me a new a-hole. But I never expected anything like this!”

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former Speaker of the House. Voters booted her out of office in 2010.

 

 

 

 
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‘ANTI-BRAIN’ STRATEGY: OBAMA’S SAT TEST SCORES AND GRADES WERE LOWER THAN GEORGE W. BUSH’S

Published on May 22, 2012,

 

THE FRAUD OF ‘BARACK OBAMA’

BREAKING:

 

(No joke:) Breitbart News has established that America’s dumbest president Barack Obama, had grades and Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores lower than those of  George W. Bush!

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/05/22/Exclusive-The-Vetting-Obama-Wrong-on-Columbia-Admission-Transfer-Class-Had-Low-SAT-Scores-Grades

 

“And I never picked my nose in public up to my proximal phalangeal joint either, like this idiot or his fellow idiot, Hillary Clinton has done. See the chart below and the disgusting pictures that follow it, and you’ll know what I’m talkin’ about. And I like that joke you folks made about breaking Obama’s finger by punching him in the nose!”

-Former President George W. Bush

 

-The chart:

 

 

Disgusting picture #1

 

 

Disgusting picture #2

 

 

 

 FORGET THE ‘ANTI-BAIN’ STRATEGY — THIS IS THE ‘ANTI-BRAIN’ STRATEGY.

 

 THE FRAUD OF ‘BARACK OBAMA,’ TO BE CONTINED…

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Singles Spotlight: Meet Zimmerman Prosecutor, Angela Corey

Published on May 22, 2012,

 

 “Hungry for love!”

 

TheFineReport ‘Singles Spotlight’ today is on Zimmerman prosecutor, Ms. Angela ‘murder-in-the-2nd’ Corey:

 

“I want candy!”
XOXO, Angela

 

 

Serious inquires only:
c/o Duval County Courthouse Annex
220 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, Florida 32202

 

 

 

“What, she didn’t provide no phone number?”

-Race baiter, Jew hater, homophobe, MSNBC television host and Obama-intimate Al Sharpton

 

 

 

 
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George Zimmerman Case: Should Charges Be Dropped?

Published on May 22, 2012,

Two prominent U.S. lawyers are among the skeptics questioning whether evidence in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin supports the second-degree murder charge against George Zimmerman, given his apparent injuries and freshly released eyewitness accounts.

http://gma.yahoo.com/george-zimmerman-case-charges-dropped-080020734–abc-news-topstories.html

 

America’s legal experts weigh in:

 

“Dat’s no reason to drop dem charges! If we can’ get ’em for murder in the second degree, we can get ’em for murder in the third degree!

-Race baiter, Jew hater, homophobe, MSNBC television host and Obama-intimate Al Sharpton

 

“I say ‘murder in the 5,’ and don’t keep him alive!”

-Race baiter and Jew hater Jesse Jackson

 

“Murder in the sixth! George Clooney told me there’s such a thing!”

-Cher, psycho

 

“That Clooney’s crazy! – He left out murder in the seventh degree!

-Former U.S. Congresswoman (yes, you read that correctly), Cynthia McKinney

 

“And murder in the eighth and ninth degrees!  Hey, that reminds me — that song by The Three Degrees!  All right boys, take it from the top!… ‘When will I see you again? When will we share precious moments? Will I have to wait, forever? Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?… Are we in love, or just friends?… Is this my beginning, or is this the end?  When will I see you again?’…”

-The New Black Panther Minstrels

 

“I’m a Harvard law graduate, but somehow with grades and SAT scores lower than George W. Bush’s.  So take it for what it’s worth when I say there are circumstances by which we can get him for murder in the tenth degree. Michelle, whose grades and SAT scores were lower than even mine,  thinks this as well.”

-American’s self-proclaimed 4th greatest president, Barack  Obama (whoever he really is)

 

“Don’t forget murder in the eleventh!”

-Zimmerman prosecutor, Angela Corey

 

“The hell with it — just scalp the damn Mexican!”

-Harvard law professor, Senate candidate and affirmative action fraud, Elizabeth Warren

 

 

“Let the son-of-a-bitch fry!”

 

 
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Romney campaign button?

Published on May 21, 2012,

 

 

 

 

“I don’t like to brag, but I did hone it to a fine craft.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Disastrous GOP 2008 presidential candidate, John McCain, who’s use of the ‘dumbass strategy’ elected Barack Obama president.

 

 

“‘Dumbass 2012’ — I’m all in!”

-GOP House Squeaker, John Boehner

 

 

“Uh… Maybe I need to rethink this…”

-GOP front-runner candidate Mitt Romney

 

“You’d better rethink this, if you want any shot at all at having a 6th kid.”

-Ann Romney

 
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CNN Executive Leaves Dog Feces In Neighbor’s Mailbox

Published on May 21, 2012,

CNN execs deliver sh-t to your television, so why not your mailbox?

 

Covington police say the victims of the incident have CNN executive Bob Furnad walking with his dog up to the mailbox and placing a bag filled with the feces in it.

 

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2012/05/21/cops-former-cnn-executive-leaves-dog-feces-in-neighbors-mailbox/

 

 

CNN’s Bob Furnad, deliverer of sh-t to your TV, expands his spread of crap to the mail:

“I was just a CNN executive doing his doody.”

 

 

A single act of intentionally vandalizing a USPS approved mail box is punishable by up to $250,000 in federal fines and 3 years in prison. Additional state criminal charges are applicable. And, the lawsuit by the victims for intentional infliction of emotional distress will pay nicely.

 

 

“Bob Furnad, you bad boy.  I know we’re not in the shower, but how about you pickin’ up that bar of soap sittin’ on the floor in front of me?”

 

 

“You’re not supposed to put sh-t in someone’s mail box?  Hm. First time I ever heard that.”

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, until voters booted her out of office in 2010.

 

 

 
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Sasha Baron Cohen Off the Teleprompter: Uh, is he supposed to be funny, or is he just the new useful idiot of the left? (Stepping in for Betty White)

Published on May 21, 2012,

Sasha Baron Cohen’s new handle: ‘Bore rat’

 

In character as Gen. Shabazz Aladeen of fictional Republic of Wadiya, Sacha Baron Cohen offered his take on the U.S. presidential election at a press conference promoting his new film “The Dictator” in New York on Monday.
Here’s what he had to say, via the Wall Street Journal, when asked which candidate he’d endorse:
“Well, I would say Santorum, despite his liberal views, but since he is out of the running, I don’t know. In terms of policies, I would have to say the Republicans if they could only become a little less extreme. … But in terms of getting into power in America, I would have to support the Democrats. If they can enable a Kenyan to become president, then why not Wadiya? But if it was the money that I was giving, I support  – and I give my full support to  –  Mitchell Romney. He has the makings of a great dictator. He is incredibly wealthy but pays no taxes, and it’s not much of a leap to go from firing people to firing squads and from putting pets on the top of a car to putting political dissidents on the top of them.”

http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/2012/05/the-dictator-endorses-mitchell-romney-122788.html

 

 

“What the hell was that? I could have come up with that in my sleep. The crap on this website is ten times funnier, and believe me, that’s not saying much.”

-Actor George Clowny

 

 

THE ‘DICTATOR’ PREVIEW AUDIENCE WEIGHS IN:

 

“We did go to sleep. And we can’t wait to get in line to see the movie. Yeah, right…  This looks worse than Saturday Night Live — which at least is free.”

“When’s the damn movie we paid to see start?”

 

 

CRAZY NANCY PELOSI WEIGHS IN:

 

“I beg your pardon! — I happened to write that for him! If you’ll notice, first he makes that great joke about Santorum being a liberal, then he gets sarcastic about the Republicans being extreme. Are you getting this so far? Then, he supports the Democrats — which is what we want him to say, like that old crow Betty White. Then — and this kills me — he calls Mitt Romney ‘Mitchell!” HA-HA-HAAAAA!!…   Oh my…excuse me for laughing so hard – I almost split my truss. But I just thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard! And then, he says Romney pays no taxes and will shoot people! I mean is this guy a dream of a useful idiot, or what? Sure, his movie is boring, but so what — it’s the message! And don’t think there won’t be a little something extra from NBC in his pocket when we have him on Saturday Night Live to repeat all this. We’ll do for this guy what we’ve done for Oprah since 2008.”

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, booted out of office by voters in 2010.


 

 
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MSNBC Compares Ann Romney to Hitler and Stalin!

Published on May 20, 2012,

 

First, it’s important to remember that NBC, as well as MSNBC are indirectly funded by our government, via its parent company, General Electric, through the cozy relationship of its CEO Jeffery Imelt with Barack Obama.

 

Second, the people saying what they said about Ann Romney aren’t simply stupid — they’re deranged, and are expressing their own malignant feelings through their demonization of her. And these crazy people hold the highest offices in our government.

 

http://times247.com/articles/ann-romney-compared-to-hitler-on-msnbc

 

 

Still, you’ve got to admit the resemblance is uncanny:

 

 

Hitler: 60,000,000 people killed in the war he started; 6,000,000+ of his own citizens were murdered at his command.

 

 

Stalin: 60,000,000+ of his own citizens were murdered at his command.

 

 

Ann Romney: 5 children created at her command.

“I’m just going to have to get one of those snazzy uniforms and learn how to salute like those guys! (But I hope you don’t expect me to put on a fake moustache!)”

 

 

 

‘Barack Obama’ (whoever he is): re-elect him, and you’ll give him the Hitler/Stalin ‘flexibility’ he threatened to act upon (not realizing there was on an open microphone that recorded it) if he is re-elected . Don’t make this lunatic any more significant a part of American history than he unfortunately is.

 

 

 

“And please don’t anybody mention Obama’s insane preacher of 20 years, either. He might yell at me.”

-GOP House Speaker, John Boehner

 

 

“Roger that, John! Rest assured, the Dumbass Strategy of 2008′ will continue unabated. Everybody got that?!”

-US Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney

 

 

‘Check.”

 

 

 
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Boehner Describes House Republicans as ‘218 Frogs in a Wheelbarrow’

Published on May 20, 2012,

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/05/20/boehner-describes-house-republicans-as-218-frogs-in-wheelbarrow/

 

And all 218 of them wish a toad named Boehner would croak.

 

(If this loser thinks we’re going to fight to take back Congress and let him remain in the position of House Speaker, he has another thing coming.)

 

“I can’t do anything right.”  This is True.

“Speaking of which, do not point out Obama’s 20 year involvement with his ‘God Damn America’ preacher, Jeremiah Wright. Someone might yell at me.”

 

 

House Speaker John Boehner on Sunday downplayed the supposed plan to resurrect Rev. Jeremiah Wright in an anti-Obama ad campaign, becoming the latest prominent Republican to knock down the proposal despite Democratic efforts to play it up.  Mitt Romney also condemned the ad.  Asked about the proposal Sunday on ABC’s “This Week,” Boehner said: “The issue is not Rev. Wright. The issue is the economy.”

 

The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, which is the campaign arm of House Democrats, is already using the scuttled plan to raise money, sending out a fundraising pitch calling the Wright proposal “race-baiting.” “This kind of nonsense shouldn’t happen,” Boehner said, when asked about the back-and-forth. “The election’s going to be about the economy.” House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, though, stood by the DCCC fundraising pitch, saying she has “no regrets.”

thefinereport.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=5984&action=edit&message=6

 

 

 Crazy Nancy Pelosi Weighs In:

 

“Look, not that I want you people to win or anything, but it really is remarkable how dumb this guy is. So you say you won’t point out Obama’s lunatic reverend. So? — We’ll keep saying you did and the Democrat media will, too. And what happens to your stupid campaign if the economy picks up in the next 5 months? And what about the left saying you’re purposely sabotaging the economy to elect Romney? And what about people who vote for reasons other than on strict principles of money? I may be crazy, but I was never this stupid!”

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former House Speaker, booted out by voters in 2010 for being crazy, not stupid.

 

 
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N.C. High School Teacher Tells Student He Could Be Arrested for Talking Badly About Obama

Published on May 20, 2012,

 

The indoctrination our children:

(But some children are fighting back. Are you?)

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/n-c-teacher-tells-student-he-could-be-arrested-for-talking-badly-about-obama/

 

The teacher is purported to be an idiot named Tanya Neely. The student, yet unnamed, is our hero.

 

 The exchange (partial):

Student: “Didn’t Obama bully somebody, though?”

Teacher: “Not to my knowledge.” (The teacher is ignorant.)

Student:  “If you’re gonna talk trash about one side, you gotta talk trash about the other.”

Teacher:  “You will not disrespect the president of the United States in this classroom.”

Student: “I’ll say what I want.”

Teacher: “Not about him, you won’t!”

Student: “Whenever Bush was president, everybody talked sh-t about him.”

Teacher: “Because he was sh-tty.”

 

 

 Former President Bush Weighs In:

 

“Now hold on. To be fair, I was sh-tty. But this guy Obama is a lunatic. There is a world of difference. While I may have hurt the country by my sh-ttiness, this guy is bent on destroying it. And this so-called ‘teacher’ is helpin’ ’em. We cannot tolerate this if we have any expectations to remain a free and prosperous nation!…  (Uh, is the middle light below the microphone on? If it is, my time is up.)”

-Former President George W. Bush

 

 

You can hear the entire exchange, recorded on an iPhone:

 

 
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Another Leftist Big-Mouth Bombs on Jeopardy: NY Times’ resident Ignoramus Thomas Friedman!

Published on May 20, 2012,

 

JEOPARDY: THE FINAL REMAINING UNCORRUPTED OLD-MEDIA SOURCE OF VETTING

 

IMAGINE THE ULTIMATE LEFTIST IGNORAMUS, BARACK OBAMA, ON JEOPARDY:

 

Obama: “‘Asia,’ for 100.”

 

Alex  Trebeck: “57”

 

Obama: “Uh, how many states there are in the U.S.?”

 

Alex Trebeck: “No, I’m sorry. Fifty-seven is the number of Islamic states. The actual number of American states is 50.”

 

Obama: “Not counting Alaska and Hawaii?”

 

Alex Trebeck: “No, counting them, too. But remember Barack, the category is ‘Asia.'”

 

Obama: “‘Asia’ for 200.”

 

Alex Trebeck:  “This land mass is the closest Asia is to America.”

 

Obama: “What is Hawaii?”

 

Alex Trebeck: “No, the answer is ‘what is Russia.’ Hawaii is not in Asia. While politically part of the United States, Hawaii is geographically part of a chain of Polynesian islands. Barack, weren’t you born and raised in Hawaii?”

 

Obama:  “No, I was born in Kenya, raised in Indonesia, then spent a few years in Hawaii, but  stoned most of the time.”

 

(Friedman’s performance is further proof – as if we needed any — that the Pulitzer Prize has been co-opted and corrupted by the left as badly as the Nobel Peace Prize (Barack Obama, Al Gore) and the Academy Award for documentaries (Al Gore). Tragically, these these awards are give merely for being the left’s most useful hack. The only thing ‘fried’ in Friedman is his brain.)

 

So this ignoramus from the New York Times has been trying to tell us what to believe?

 

Following in the footsteps of MSNBC’s ignoramus Chris Mathews (who also bombed on Jeopardy), three-time ‘Pulitzer Prize’ winner and Ph.D. of ignorance,  New York Times dumbbell Thomas Friedman, finishes ‘Jeopardy’ in last place, behind a CNN and a NBC talking-head.

 

-Failed all questions on finance, social media and industrial history.


NY Times’ Thomas Friedman: “Mr. Last Place”

 

-NY Times Ignoramus Thomas Friedman, on the right, in last place. CNN’s talking-head Anderson Cooper on the left, and NBC’s talking-head Kelly O’Donnell in the middle (or as former Democrat senators Edward Kennedy and Chris Dodd liked to call it, a ‘waitress sandwich’).

 

Sample:

With the category “21st Century Lingo,” the answer was, “In 2011, BusinessWeek said European government bonds were this ‘poisonous’ kind of debt.”

Friedman responded, “Sub-prime.” I guess he missed the clue in quotation marks “poisonous.”

The correct response of course was “toxic.”

In the same category moments later, the answer was, “It’s the ‘tiny’ term for a person who writes short posts about one’s personal life on Tumblr or Twitter.”

Once again, the word in quotations marks was the clue, and once again Friedman missed it.

“What is a tweeter?” he replied.

Of course, the answer was “micro-blogger.”

At the end of Double Jeopardy!, Cooper was in first with $15,600, Friedman in second with $8,400, and O’Donnell in third with $2,000.

The Final Jeopardy! category was Inventors, and the answer was, “The National Inventors Hall of Fame said his work ‘brought the south prosperity,’ but he was out of business within 5 years.”

No one got the correct response of Eli Whitney.

 

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2012/05/19/nyt-s-thomas-friedman-bombs-jeopardy

 

 

 

“You mean there’s a ‘Fried-Man? Like a superhero of greasy food?”

“Where can I get the comic book?”

 

 

 

“Weird Tom and Chris(?)”  Yankovic – I Lost On Jeopardy

 

 
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Flesh-Eating Bacteria Consumed Man’s Penis After Surgery, Says Lawsuit

Published on May 19, 2012,

 

A man suing after a major medical mistake left him disfigured gave testimony Thursday that revealed the intimate details of his misery. The unidentified plaintiff said he wanted a penile implant to improve his sex life in. “I had problems having intimate relations. As time went by, that problem got worse.”

 

The man’s attorney argues that an anesthesiologist overlooked his client’s pre-existing medical conditions, which resulted in him having no more external male genitalia. According to the lawyer, the man  should have never been allowed to undergo elective penile implant surgery to treat erectile dysfunction, that ultimately, resulted in his being neutered.

 

As a result of the operation, a gangrene infection spread through his penis after the surgery. The plaintiff detailed the traumatic experience: “A flesh-eating bacteria ate my penis an inch every day. In three days it was gone. Just like that.”

 

As a result, he has to spend the rest of his life without a functioning penis or testicles. He has to sit down to urinate, though he does admit he gets a lot more reading done. “But I’ll never have any intimate relationships with anyone again. Who would have sex with a man with flesh-eating penis disease, except on MTV?”

 

 

The man, who is identified only through a series of evidentiary photographs, complains, “At first it caused me to get as fat as a house. It was disgusting. If I thought I had problems before, they paled to my starting to resemble Jabba the Hutt.”

-The plaintiff, shown in court documents at his most obese.

 

 

“Eventually, I shed a hundred pounds and started looking human again. But not by much. I looked bad and I smelled worse. I was bitter, and I acted like a goddam idiot.”

-The plaintiff, shown in court documents, after losing a marginal amount of weight

 

 

“I finally lost hundreds of pounds, but look at me: no penis and no testicles. So what am I?  If this isn’t bad enough, people keep telling me I look like Rachel Maddow, from MSNBC. Well, I guess it could be worse — I could look like Al Sharpton or Ed Schultz.  Someone told me I should write a book about the whole thing. I came up with a title, at least: ‘Drift: The Unmooring of an American Penis.'”

-Finally, weight is below 200 pounds. “I might write a book.”

 

 

“HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!…  He does look like Rachel Maddow! Man, that is funny…  I have got to invite this no-penis guy over to my house for entertainment at my next Obama party!…  Finally — whew! — I’ll meet a guy with a smaller you-know-what.”

-Actor George Clowny

 

 

“I resent dat ‘Al Sharpton’ crack.”

-Race baiter, Jew hater, homophobe, MSNBC television host and Obama-intimate Al Sharpton

 

“And I resent that ‘Ed Schutlz’ crack! Don’t you know who I am?? Hey, what the hell’s going on here? Where are we, anyway?”

-Unhinged MSNBC host  and Obama-intimate, Ed “Crazy EddieHis Ideas Are Insane!” Schultz

 

“You’re in TheFineReport, Ed!  Quick, get out while you can, or you’ll be stuck here forever, like me!”

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, former Speaker of the House until she was booted from office in 2010.

 

 

 “We’re where? …Hic!

-US Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton

 

 “And I’m getting a bit pissed at this myself! I do not have 2 inch penis! I won’t lie and say it’s 3 inches, but it is not 2 inches for sure! I also spoke to my attorney about this website, but he told me that because that I’ve inserted myself into the national political debate,  any asshole running a website can do the whole ‘Falwell’* thing and claim I had sex with my mother – or have a  2 inch penis. So if I sue them, all I’ll do is make them famous. So instead, let me be perfectly clear: I did not have sex with that woman. And stop calling me George Clowny!”

-Actor George Clowny, overcompensating for something?

 

 

“Hey, at least it wasn’t a dog‘s penis we ate!”

-Flesh-eating Bacteria

 

 

“I know how that plaintiff feels. While flesh-eating bacteria didn’t eat my penis, it ate two other really important things.”

-GOP House Speaker John Boehner

 

 

“What’s this guy complaining about? He never used those two things anyway!”

-Flesh-eating Bacteria

 

 

*Our lawyer finally gets some air-time (and we get an invoice):

“In the seminal case Hustler Magazine v. Falwell, the US Supreme court held that the First Amendment’s freedom of speech protection extends to the making of patently offensive statements about public figures, resulting perhaps in their suffering emotional distress. You could state George Clowny had sex with his mother and not incur liability, unless the offending publication contained a false statement of fact which was made with “actual malice.” We would define  actual malice here, but you guys are too cheap to pay us for it. Furthermore, the Court added that the interest of protecting free speech under the First Amendment surpassed the state’s interest in protecting public figures from patently offensive speech, so long as such speech could not reasonably be construed to state actual facts about its subject. To wit,  no reasonable person reading this website would construe the parody herein to be an assertion of the truth that that George Clowny (Is it ‘Clowny? I aways thought it was ‘Clooney”) had sex with his mother, or he has a 2 inch penis. (Did he? Does he?) It is because of this very discussion that I maintain a subscription to Hustler Magazine, among many other pornographic magazines: so that my practice continues to be on the cutting-edge of Constitutional law issues. (And they’re a hundred percent tax deductible, too.) If you know of a pornographic magazine that I should be reading — for Constitutional law purposes, of course — please send me the information c/o TheFineReport.com.

 

 

The flesh-eating penis parody is based on a true story:

http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/health/2012/05/18/flesh-eating-bacteria-consumes-man-penis/

 

 

Copyright 2012 TheFineReport.com

thefinereport@gmail.com

 

 
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