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Boehner Has Second Thoughts About Ryan as V.P. Choice:

Published on August 11, 2012,


“Judging by the favorable reaction, I find this choice of Ryan very disturbing. This calls into question Mitt Romney’s ability to lose. I mean, has the man gone crazy?  What if he wins?  We’ll all have to actually do something!”

-Squeaker of the House John Boehner



“John, John, John… Have a little faith! Give the guy some time to figure out another way blow the election. I went through the same thing after they forced Palin on me. But my subsequent “Obama is a good man” statements put things back where I wanted them to be. Trust me: the RINO is not an endangered species in this country.”

-Stockholm Syndrome sufferer, John McCain



“I’ll second that!”

RINO Lyndsay Grahmnesty





Conservative Law Professor and Blogger William A. Jacobson of Cornell Drops the Hammer Down!

Published on August 11, 2012,




“Not really interested in your criticisms of the Ryan pick.”


Prof. Jacobson continues:



“So what about Republicans and other Romney supporters who don’t think much of the pick or Ryan as V.P.?  What should they do?”



Shut up.”


-Cornell Professor of Law, William A. Jacobson



“No criticism you mount now can change anything, and your simply piling on will not just bury Ryan, but bury Romney. These are not policy positions where there is a gradation.  It’s all or nothing on the Ryan pick.”



“You’re either are with Ryan or against him.  And if you’re against him publicly, then you’re with Obama.”


GRADE: 4.0





Professor Jacobson is right. Remember, this election is not over until the fat lady sings.




“Damn. You can pick your nose, but you sure can’t pick Romney’s V.P.”



*For those without formal legal training, this post is a take-off on the classic “IRAC” writing format required on law school exams. (Except of course, for the fat lady and the nose-picker.) A grade pf 4.0 is the highest grade attainable on a law school exam.


Romney Picks Ryan as VP

Published on August 11, 2012,


“I’m glad he took my advice. Mitt simply needed a policy guy to augment his already captivating charisma. Besides, like I told him, ‘When you lose, you should lose the old-fashioned GOP way! The ash-heap of history is already too full with losers going out with no style. You don’t want to be one of them, do ya?'”

Squeaker of the Huose, John Boehner


“Amen, to that. Obama, 2012!”

Stockholm Syndrome sufferer, John McCain


America-hater and Obama-intimate Fareed Zakaria Caught Plagiarizing — AGAIN

Published on August 11, 2012,


Another leftist media fraud gets a mere ‘time out!’ for lying:


What do you call a fraud caught stealing other peoples’ writing and calling it his own? This week, you call him: “Fareed Zakaria”


Time and CNN “commentator” Fareed Zakaria (who’s name, loosely translated in English, means, “What do you expect at the prices you pay me?”) was suspended for a month after being accused of plagiarism — again. Previously, Zakaria was caught plagiarizing material from Atlantic Magazine and publishing it in Newsweek as his own work.


“Next time Zakaria steals someone elses’ work and passes it off as his own one of my networks” threatened angry Time-Warner CEO Jeffrey L. Bewkes, “he loses all limousine privileges for a month! You hear me? One month.”

-Time-Warner CEO Jeffrey Bewkes



Says Zakaria:


“But when I wrote ‘I hate America,’ I assure you I actually came up with those words. Or it might have been Barack Obama — but I did organize them into a coherent thought. And how come you’re picking on me? How come you don’t pick on Obama for not writing those two ‘books’ of his? Huh? Or his bogus college records? Or his bogus everything? Huh? And Andrea Mitchell on NBC — she lies all the time!  Or Bewkes, for his lousy cable service? Why me, huh? Why me?”

-Fareed Zakaria (assuming, that is, he didn’t steal the name from someone else)

“The hell with you at Time and CNN! While I’m on mere suspension, I’ll do other things. So would any of you people out there like to see some of my artwork? — I have a new painting I call the ‘Mona Lisa.’ No? How about hearing some of my music.  — I’ve got a new song I wrote called ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow.’  No? Would you like to preview my new book, ‘Dreams of My Father?’ No? How about a movie script I wrote, ‘The Godfather.’ No? How about a blog I started, called ‘TheFineReport?’ Yes? — Ahhhh, so finally something I can steal from, and have some peace from you people!”


Zakaria caught stealing from the New Yorker Magazine:



Zakaria caught stealing from Atlantic Magazine:





Two frauds, tete a tete:


“Barack, now I’ll ask you a stupid question, and you can give me a stupid answer.”

“Fareed, I must request you do not make it too hard of a stupid question.”

“But Barack, that itself was as stupid question.”

“Fareed, it was not a question.”

“Then what was it, Barack?”

“I donno — I just kinda said something. You know, like a request.”

“So Barack, you’re requesting that I do not ask you stupid questions that are too hard?”

“Fareed, is that a question?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“I’m confused.”

“Don’t worry, we’re out of time, anyway.”



“I like that Fareed almost as much as I like that Axelrod. But where is his fez and swastika? When we go to the trouble of making these things, we expect people to wear them.”

-Adolph Hitler


The fez:

-Fez (a hat) worn by Muslim volunteers (get that: they were volunteers) for the Nazi death squads during World War II. It also served as a drinking cup or a portable toilet. Hopefully most Muslim Nazi volunteers used them for both — and then again as a hat. While full.


Romney, Re-Thinks His Obama “Nice Young Man” Comment:

Published on August 11, 2012,


I’m not a murderer. I’m positive of that.”


“Am I going crazy, or that Ann Coulter right? — And did I misinterpret Boehner’s advice that Obama is just a’nice you man, in over his head,’ for he’s a ‘nice hung man, into giving head?’ Is that possible?


And Ann’s ‘Michelle Obama is lovely’ comment. Come on, man — Michelle Obama is disgusting!  Jesus — just the thought of any orifice on that woman in action… Yikes.”


“Something is not making sense here. What would I do if I were getting this kind of advice from a venture capital executive? — Why I’d fire the bastard — that‘s what I would do!!  Holy Christ — what the hell have I been thinking?!”



“That does it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I’m going full out ‘Mitt Romney, Mr. Business Monster.’ I didn’t want to do it, but now I’m calling out the big guns. Screw ’em: Obama will never know what hit him.”



“You heard the boss! — Romney Rangers into action!

Now remember — no cursing, hitting below the belt or anything that might annoy people voting for Obama, anyway!”



“You gotta give ’em credit — the kid’s learning.”

-Stockholm Syndrome sufferer, John McCain


“I’ll say! ‘Romney Rangers’ — wow!”

Squeaker of the House, John Boehner




“You can talk to these pitiful jerks until you’re blue in the face. You know what? My face is feeling kind of blue. Hey, at least I tried. Can you say you did?”

-Ann Coulter


8-Year-Old’s ‘Dreams Were Crushed’ After Being Denied Entry to Obama Event

Published on August 10, 2012,


An eight-year-old Asperger sufferer’s dreams were crushed when she was denied entry into an Obama event in Colorado.


Little Adrianne Winkle has Asperger’s Syndrome, preventing her from ever having spoken in her life.


Her malady also causes her to be extremely sensitive to heat. Considering that, her mom and dad waited until 4 p.m. to show up to the event because the tickets said Obama would speak at 5:30, according to local reports. Said the girl’s mother, Wilma: “I thought, ‘what a great historic event to take my daughter to and she’ll remember it her whole life: our first Communist president.’ I wanted to instill in her our leftist values – but when we got there and they said, ‘nope sorry.’ No explanation, ‘you just can’t go in –you didn’t make those tickets.’  Well, the only good thing that came out of it, is that while Adrianne did get heat stroke, when she woke from her coma she spoke for the first in her life! So you can imagine our surprise when she blurted out, ‘What an a-hole that Obama is! And what a couple of a-holes you two are for dragging me out in the heat to listen to that bullsh-t!’ Unfortunately, she hasn’t spoken to us again, since. Though she has been trying to call Rush Limbaugh’s program every morning, since.”



” — And his wife’s fat and ugly, and she looks like she smells bad!  That’s it — I’m not speaking again until this guy is out of office, or I’m put up for adoption. Or both! The only ass-burgers in my family are my idiot parents! I hate Communism!”

Little Adrianne Winkle (identity protected)





Memory Lane

Published on August 10, 2012,




June 13, 2011:  Obama refuses to all for Anthony Weiner’s Resignation:



White House press secretary wouldn’t say whether President Barack Obama believes Weiner should resign for sending sexually charged photos and messages online to several women


Said Obama’s press secretary Jay Carney, “President Obama understands that sometimes a married U.S. Congressman just has to blow off a little steam. Wiener’s taking out his dick, snapping a photo of it, and sending it off unsolicited to a bunch of young women is perfectly understandable. In addition, we don’t want to affect his wife Huma Abedin’s role as the de facto Secretary of State, when we have a drunken buffoon like Hillary Clinton on the loose around the world.”





“And that’s the way it was…  Boy, what I wouldn’t give to rise from hell to be here to bullsh-t for this president.”

-Media fraud, manipulator of news reporting and leftist shill, former CBS news editor Walter Cronkite



Obama meets with Solyndra’s CEO

Published on August 9, 2012,


A Fine Report exclusive —




Obama at scandal-plagued Solyndra “green company,” talking with Solyndra’ CEO Chris Gronet:


Obama: “So what’s this thing we’re standing in front of, do?”
Gronet: “It’s a conveyor belt.”
Obama: “Like what’s holding up the pants on this gigantic suit they just made me put on? Whose jacket is this anyways, Chris Christie’s? My wife’s?”
Gronet: “No, no – this belt conveys things.”
Obama: “Does it go left to right, or right to left?”
Gronet: “Good question. I never saw it move.”
Obama: “How come there’s nothing moving?”
Gronet: “What do you mean?”
Obama: “There’s nothing on the conveyor. How come nothing is being moved around?”
Gronet: (laughs) “We don’t ‘move’ anything here because we don’t make anything here! I take that back: we make money. And a lot of it.”
Obama: “So why isn’t there money on the conveyor belt?”
Gronet: (laughs) “Man, you’re as thick as they said you’d be. The money comes from the Treasury department. But we never actually see it here . The money goes straight from the Treasury to the Solyndra bank account, and then some to my private account, and then the rest to your campaign account, where you over-pay ‘campaign consultants’ and funnel money back to the Congress people who voted for ‘green’ funding. We all make out, you see?”
Obama: “When do I get paid?”
Gronet: (laughs) “We got you elected president, didn’t we? You’re getting a paycheck, aren’t you? You’re making millions ‘selling’ books you didn’t write, aren’t you? Your wife is taking tens of million dollars worth of vacations, isn’t she?”
Obama: “Speaking of which: Michelle is complaining she’s not getting paid as First Lady.”
Gronet: “You’ve got to tell that fool to shut-up, or she’ll blow this whole thing. Keep her big trap shut until after the election. Ask her if she’s ever heard the expression, ‘pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.’”
Obama: “Okay, okay… Just to be clear: you do not ‘make’ anything here at Solyndra.”
Gronet: “That’s correct: We do not make anything. Except money.”
Obama: “So all those machines behind us are –
Gronet: “ – Props.”
Obama: “What do people think you’re making here?”
Gronet: “Green. (laughs) And man, are we making green – billions of it!”
Obama: “Ohhh!…. You mean money!
Gronet: (laughs) “Hey, maybe you’re not as thick as everyone says you are…”
Obama: “So that’s what Van Jones has been talking about… I was wondering how he was getting by without a day job.”

Airing the terrible truth…

Published on August 9, 2012,

But he who rules the skies…


-From the Oshkosh Air Show



THE FINE REPORT: 4 months, 2,000,000+ hits

Published on August 9, 2012,

April, May, June & July 2012:



Thank you — we could not have done it without you.


We will now list everyone individually.



…Or maybe not. But you know who you are — and thank you for your support, hatred or casual curiosity.



But the greatest of thanks must go to Oleg Atbashian, of ThePeoplesCube.com. But for him, TheFineReport would not have come into existence.

-The Internet ‘Great One’




“Ok, I get it: ‘2 million,’ ‘Oleg’  — when the @#$% do I eat?”




Usain Bolt salutes the American flag during medal ceremony

Published on August 9, 2012,


Usain Bolt:

Jamaican gold medalist stops a media interview to salute the U.S. flag during Olympic medal ceremony, simply out of respect.




Insane Dolt:

Barack Obama, refusing to salute the U.S. flag during the playing of the national anthem during the 2008 presidential primaries.

Enough stupid Americans voted for him anyway.




Hillary Clinton’s “Make An Ass of Myself” World-Tour Continues

Published on August 8, 2012,


A taxpayer-funded globe-trotting buffoon gives ‘trans-fat’ a new meaning:


-Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton, humping unknown cabaret singer in South Africa, 8-7-2012



De facto Secretary of State Huma Abedin gets word of Clinton’s latest buffoonery:





“Don’t look at me —  I was stuck living with her for 8 years!”


-Impeached former president Bill Clinton, and sham ‘husband’ of Hillary Clinton.



Elizabeth Warren’s daughter funds a plan ( — meaning, George Soros funded the plan) to force state to mail welfare recipients voter registration forms

Published on August 8, 2012,


“Mother Warren taught me well: lie about your qualifications, try to eat for free, take all you can get from other people, contribute nothing, complain the loudest — and claim you’re an Indian to get into college on some other Indian’s scholarship. Oh yeah — and be a communist — but be sure to be in the corrupt communist elite, so you don’t have to live like the rest of the peons enslaved by the system.”




“And remember: if you have to give, always be an Indian giver!”

-Lunatic and fraud Elizabeth “Mom” Warren




Barack Obama Complains that Wife Doesn’t Make Money As First Lady

Published on August 8, 2012,

The story:



“My fat piece of sh-t* glutinous, good-for-nothing but blowing millions of dollars in U.S. taxpayer funds on personal vacations, bitter, hateful, classless wife doesn’t make money as First Lady! What’s up with that??”



“Yeah! I want money!”

-The fat piece of sh-t*, good-for-nothing but bad things, Michelle Obama



*We apologize to sh-t everywhere for the comparison. But it is what it is.





Serious question: Why doesn’t Sean Penn stay in Venezuela?

Published on August 8, 2012,

Sean Penn Campaigns for Hugo Chavez’s ‘Reelection’ in Venezuela



“Because, dude — I’m a total ignorant douche! — And I’ve got America to f-ck with!”

-Hopefully, Chavez will get pissed off at Penn for some stupid reason — as dictators do — and lock him up in Venezuela for the rest of his life.



“I remember a time when Hollywood was not infested with f-ing commies. I think it was once, in 1912, when they first invented goddam film! What goes on with that place??”

-Former Senator Blutto Blutarsky



“I had sex with Sean Penn! …I think it was Sean Penn.  (Did he have crabs?)  And where’s a damn hamburger stand around here?”

-Charlotte, Scarlett, what’s her name…




Supreme Court allows execution of Texas inmate with low IQ

Published on August 8, 2012,


Ooops!  — Wrong moron.

– Race-baiter, anti-Semite, MSNBC host, Barack Obama-intimate and moron, Al Sharpton


Whoops — wrong moron, again.

-MSNBC host, Ed Schultz


Nope, nope, nope.

-President Moron.


Nope, still wrong.

-Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton


Getting closer…

-The disgusting Nancy Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, who voters booted out of office in 2010.


Can’t you people get this straight?



— Ah-ha! Finally: the correct moron:


  “Are you sure I’m dead? Cause I don’t feel any different.”

-Murderer Marvin Wilson, 54, executed today in Huntsville, TX.





Published on August 7, 2012,



-Sarah Palin, speaking at a local campaign event, August 6, 2012.



“You weren’t talking about me, were you? Because you should see how I look in those hot shoes, with my Superwoman shirt on. Because you know, during the latest  of my full-body plastic surgeries, I had the hammer toes removed from my feet, and the leftover pieces implanted in my breasts. (So know I really know what you guys mean when you talk about ‘knockers.’  Ha!)  Do you want to see? I’ll take off my shirt and my shoes. Here, look — !”

Desperate former US House Speaker, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, who voters booted out of office in 2010.



“At least Palin won’t get the chubby-chasers!”

-Debbie Whatshername Schultz, with a chubby-chaser.


Guess who:



“There are ‘chubby-chasers?’ How come no one’s chasing me? I’d better run this by Huma.”

– Incredible Bozo, and current Secretary of State of the United States

-The incredible Bozo, with de facto Secretary of State, Huma Abedin, whose family has intimate dies to  the most violent Muslim terror groups.





Published on August 7, 2012,


An idiot because she was raised to be one:


Michelle Obama: ‘Building Our Economy Starts With the Restaurants’



-Glamour and fashion icon Michelle Obama




An idiot because he chooses to be one:


Boehner Again Won’t Say if GOP Will Defund Obama’s ‘Attack on Religious Freedom’



“You know, maybe funding Obama’s attack on religious freedom is a good idea!”




Then there is the master of all idiots:


 “Wake me up when I’m Emperor. Zzzzz…..”




This is what we think of The Fine Report!”

-US Senate majority leader, Harry Reid.



And this is what The Fine Report thinks of Harry Reid:


The Fine Report: “Reid, your net salary as Senator for the past 10 years has been about one hundred thousand dollars, correct?”


Reid: “Yeah, that’s right, you @#$%!”


The Fine Report: “Then how is it possible that your net worth is $10 million dollars — an amount equal to the personal vacation expenses of Michelle Obama paid by taxpayers in 3 years in the White House? And when is Obama going to release his college records? And how come no one remembers him at Columbia? And how did he ever get into Harvard?  And how did he get to head the Harvard Law Review without ever writing a single law article during school? And how come he never wrote a single word during the time he headed it? And how did he magically write two bestselling books when he couldn’t write a cohesive sentence at any time prior to those books magically appearing? And how come he appointed communists and Maoists to his cabinet? And how come — … Harry?… Harry, come back – we’re not done… Harry!…”




“Wow. How’d you guys do that?”



“It’s called ‘having a pair balls — and using them at all times.'”

-Rep. Allen West



“‘…A pair of balls… Using them at all times…’ 

That is a very interesting concept.”



” — Nah!”

 “You’ll see — I’ll make those Democrats and the corrupt Democrat media like me — or my name isn’t Sheldon Abramowitz.”





NBC keeps the race card alive, even in their coverage of the Olympics?

Published on August 5, 2012,


NBC, the Obama propaganda network featuring race-baiter, Jew hater and Obama intimate Al Sharpton, has started their own Reichstag Fire* to inject racial tension into the Olympics so as to affect the November 2012 election?


The story:

NBC forced to apologize after ad features a monkey doing gymnastics – right after showing Gabby Douglas’ gold medal victory



(Another ‘apology’  — who cares?) Does anyone believe this was an accident?


Gabby Douglas, before NBC’s ‘editorial:’


‘Gabby Douglas,’ after NBC ‘editorial:’


“It worked!”

– Race-baiter, anti-Semite, MSNBC host and Barack Obama-intimate, Al Sharpton


“Excellent job.”

-Race-baiter and anti-Semite, Jesse Jackson



“Who’s Gabby Douglas?”

-The a-hole who just played his 104th round of golf today while in office.


“She’s our ‘victim,’ you idiot! I do like your moustache.”

-Obama propagandist and long-time campaign sleazemeister, David Axelrod


“Ach! And I, yours, Herr Axelrod. In fact, I like everything about you.”

-Adolph Hitler



*The Nazi Reichstag Fire, 1933:

Nazi operatives intentionally started a massive fire in the federal legislature, blaming it on political opponents, and using it to start violence that led to a Nazi dictatorship in Germany.




Obama’s useful-idiot NASA chief: U.S. won’t go it alone on manned Mars mission

Published on August 3, 2012,

U.S. astronauts won’t land on Mars by themselves but with international partners in the 2030s, NASA’s useful idiot-chief said Wednesday. 



“We can’t do that!  Somebody else built space! And somebody else built Mars! — Probably slaves! Owned by Mitt Romney!*”


(*We’re being satirical — no, he didn’t actually say that.  But he might as well have!  This is the same fool who proudly announced NASA’s primary mission was ‘Muslim outreach,” and has overseen NASA’s terrible decline.)



“Where is Mars, anyway? And what’s all the fuss? Why don’t we just hop on that Transatlantic Railroad Barack was talking about?”

Obama-moron Charles Bolden, head of NASA



“Dem Mars slaves is what built dis racist country. How dey got dem here in dem slave spaceships, I don’t know. But Bolden is on dat conundrum, as we speak.”

– Race-baiter, anti-Semite, MSNBC host and Barack Obama-intimate, Al Sharpton



“I happen to be a descendant of Mars slaves. In fact, I’ve visited Mars a total of three times, usually staying at a relative’s house in the old neighborhood, the Vastitas Borealis.”

-Bigot and Obama supporter and bad counter,  Louis Farrakhan




Schwarzenegger to establish bipartisan think tank at USC

Published on August 2, 2012,


Schwarzenegger to Share Problem-Solving Skills via Nonpartisan Think Tank:


The USC Schwarzenegger Institute for State and Global Policy will be funded with a commitment of $20 million from the former California governor that will include a personal donation as well as money from his fundraising efforts.


Said Schwarzenegger, “My first problem vuz after being elected governator, I let Maria tell me vhat to do. Dat vuz a gigantic mistake. She doesn’t know you-know-vhat from shine-ola about anything, so vhy vould she know how to run a state government? Vhat vuz I thinking, right?  Den, da other problem vuz I got horny late one night at the house, so I took out my pee-pee in da kitchen and schtuped the maid.   Vhat vuz I thinking again, eh? (I should have schtuped her in the basement — I might still be married today. See vhat I’m saying about ‘problem solving?’) So I thought: ‘vhat should I do for da next time, ven I think I might do something stupid by not thinking?’ Den it hit me! — I should create a think tank! Dat vay, dere vould be a place for some extra thinking to be stored in da tank, dere, for ven important people like me forget to think! Not a bad idea, eh?”



-The Grand Old Dame of ‘Vhat vuz I thinking?, Arnold Schwartzenegger




Finally — a new job for John Boehner: “You Die, We Cry!”

Published on August 1, 2012,


We have finally found a job for this useless, derelict-in-his-duty bum of a GOP House Speaker.


In fact, we built a business around this poor excuse for a man — and one worthy of his one special talent.


Introducing —


Boehner Professional Mourner Services!

“You die — we cry!”


In some cultures, the bereaved hire professional criers to demonstratively weep at services honoring their departed loved ones.  Well today, that service is now offered in the U.S. — and it’s better than ever!


‘You Die, We Cry’ accepts all major credit cards, and we are on-call 24 hours, everyday, with professional weepers standing by to cry at that special send-off of your departed loved one. And we do pet ceremonies, too!


 As a welcome to our new services, we are offering the following summer specials — so call us hencefortthheretowitthereof!


-John Boehner, President and Chairman of the Board, You Die — We Cry!, Inc.



The ‘Bill Clinton:’ gee, it’s so sad to lose such a swell guy like Ron Brown. Who was he again?’

Only $25.00 per half-hour!



The Orange you glad it was him and not us?’

Only $35.00 per half-hour! (Orange face coloring is extra.)



The ‘Damn, that is one lousy embalming job. Who can look at that?…’

Only $35.00 per half-hour!



The ‘I didn’t mean to shoot him. I tell you it was an accident! Will ya ever forgive me?’

Only $50.00 per half-hour!



The ‘He was the greatest coach ever! And so generous in the shower!’

Only $50.00 per half-hour! (Microphone and podium are extra.)



The ‘She was alone, and  in pain… She just wanted to go and join Grand-dad…’

Only $35.00* per half-hour! (*Crowds are additional, billed per person.)



The ‘You promise all doggies go to heaven?’

Only $25.00 per half-hour!* (*Travel time to animal cemetery is extra.)



The ‘Is there really a buffet in the other room?…’

Only $25.00* per half-hour! (Price does not include buffet.)



The ‘Pagliacci’

Only $50.00* per half-hour! (*One song is included. Additional songs are extra.)



The ‘Yes it’s true!  I loved him as I loved any woman!’

Only $50.00 per half-hour!



The ‘I guess I’ll never see that hundred fifty bucks again…’

Only $25.00 per half-hour!



The ‘North Korea: No, no! Not Dear Leader! No! No!…BWWAAAAA!!…’

Only $100.00* per half-hour! (*Only one of these special performances is booked per day.)



Stay tuned for our autumn specials!



Operators are standing by for your call!








More Evidence Boehner Is Being Extorted — or Paid Off — or Nuts: Boehner Giving Obama Yet More Unprescedented Presidential Power —

Published on July 31, 2012,

The House of Representatives Set to Consider Exempting Presidential Appointments From Being Confirmed By The Senate


Critics: The “Act” amounts to Congress neutering itself and giving the president unprecedented power.


The United States Constitution does not bestow kingly powers on the President to appoint the senior officers of the government with no process:

House passes bill eliminating Senate confirmation for presidential appointees



“Remember this: never patronize the same hooker twice. And if you do, don’t let him take any keepsake photos.”

John Boehner: Speaker of the House and a vain coward of historic proportions.



Bloomingidiotberg’s Latest Directive!

Published on July 31, 2012,

Continued rantings of a lunatic:


“From this day on, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check!”


-Herr Bloomingidiotberg






Published on July 29, 2012,

Is John Boehner being extorted? It would answer a lot of questions.


Boehner Indicates GOP House May Fund Obama’s ‘Attack on Religious Liberty’

(CNSNews.com) – Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) indicated Thursday that the Republican-controlled House of Representatives that he leads may go ahead and provide the Obama administration with the funding it needs to implement a regulation that earlier this year Boehner himself called “an unambiguous attack on religious freedom in our country.”

At a Capitol Hill press conference on Thursday, Boehner said he believes “resolving” the regulation’s attack on religious liberty may not be something for Congress to deal with because he thinks it may be one of those policy goals that “can sometimes best be done [through] other than legislative avenues.”



Mark Levin calls out Boehner: Do you stand with Michele Bachmann or the Muslim Brotherhood?



Robert Costa: Boehner: Why Are We Funding a Left-Wing Network?




“First piece of advice: if you hire a hooker, don’t let them take pictures.  Second: It’s not merely having your thumb up your ass that hurts: it’s  the damn curve , like on mine. Third: If you can’t beat ’em — join ’em!”

John Boehner: Speaker of the House and a vain coward of historic proportions.





Published on July 27, 2012,


It’s true!

(You could get a little more excited, okay?)


It was six weeks.

But honestly. it felt more like 42 days.




And, unlike Bill Clinton, one of us did have sex with that woman:


“Promise me you won’t put this picture on your website. Okay? Seriously.  Promise? — Don’t take the picture if you’re going to do that.  Okay?  Are you listening to me? If you do it, I swear — I’ll sue you. I’m not kidding!”



“Are you kidding? — Of course I don’t ‘take credit cards!’ I’ve got another client  in  fifteen minutes — just leave the cash on the table and get out here already! And do not put this picture on the Internet.”




 “He tried, but he did not have sex with me. I even made him beg.  It was quite pitiful.”


-Woman no one from TheFineReport.com had sex with. Unfortunately.




“Hey, I went the other way and begged him to have sex with me.  But he was taken in by that other woman first — just like those Jews are being taken in by those Chick-fil-A eating Judas Republicans… “Or  maybe – *sigh* — maybe my psychiatrist is right, and plastic surgery and a little leg just isn’t the answer anymore…  I wonder if I  got giant boob implants — and had Obamacare pay for them,  including the flight to Sweden… I could even take the whole family, and buy a ton of booze, too….”

Desperate former US House Speaker, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, who voters booted out of office in 2010.



“Nancy’s never asked me to have sex. Come to think of it, nobody’s ever asked me to have sex. Well, except Barack Obama, screwing me all these years. But I guess that’s not really sex, it is? It sure didn’t feel good. I always thought  getting screwed is supposed to feel good. At least that’s what Larry says in Hustler. I guess I’ll give it more time.”

-Desperate speaker of the House and a vain coward of historic proportions, John Boehner


“What’s sex?”

-Desperate personified.


Huma: “You brainless idiot! You incompetent buffoon of a contrivance! You ungracefully aging moron of historic proportions! — How could you not remember ‘sex’ is what Bill did to you the one night he could not find a hooker! — When he said ‘let’s hit the reset button! How could you not remember? Write it down, for Allah’s sake!”



“So that‘s what that was!  Huma, you’re the smartest de facto Secretary of State  ever!”

– Incredible Bozo, and current Secretary of State of the United States









Hillary Clinton takes an order from de facto Secretary of State, Huma Abedin

Published on July 23, 2012,




Later that day…



“See? I told you. Nothing to worry about.”

John McCain, who criticized Congresswoman Michelle Bachman after she sounded the alarm over Huma Abedin’s intimate ties to the Secretary of State.




A Dangerous, Useful Idiot Named Hillary Clinton

Published on July 23, 2012,


Huma Abedin, a woman who would not pass a national security clearance screening, is Obama’s Secretary of State (Hillary Clinton’s) closest aide.




Hillary Clinton shown above with the mother of Clinton’s close aide Huma Abedin, whose entire immediate family is closely associated with the Muslim Brotherhood terror group. The mother’s name has appeared in several prominent Arab newspapers when it was revealed that she belonged to a list of 63 members of the secret arm of the Muslim Brotherhood called The Sisterhood.  Huma’s brother—Hassan Abedin—also collaborates with Omar Naseef and Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi, two of the most influential terror supporters in the world.





Powerful Clinton aide in question, Huma Abedin.

“I heard ‘stupid’ and ‘useful idiot’ — who called?”

John McCain, who criticized Congresswoman Michelle Bachman after she sounded the alarm over Huma Abedin’s intimate ties to the Secretary of State.



“They were calling you, John?  Sorry, I could have sworn I heard my name.”

John Boehner, who joined the criticism of Congresswoman Michelle Bachman after she sounded the alarm over Huma Abedin’s intimate ties to the Secretary of State.



The Fine Report Vacation





Ratman visits Aurora, Colorado

Published on July 22, 2012,


 “I got down here as fast and furiously as I could. I even delayed my 103rd round of golf. 


“Why, Michelle even delayed her next taxpayer-funded million-dollar vacation.”


“Hey, other than all that —  how was the movie?

Are we done here?”




“He was at my house.

I, too, am now divine. Yahoo.

Though I would still like back the silverware his wife

stuffed in her bag.”

Marrisa Mayer, useful idiot of the left and new Yahoo CEO.



Speaking of useful idiots…


Huma Abedin giving directives to her useful idiot, Hillary Clinton.


The Fine Report Vacation


(Though you’d never know it from all these posts…)



Ask the Professor!

Published on July 22, 2012,

Prof. Papalopolopolis is back, and taking your questions!


“Hey there!”


James from Aurora, Colorado asks:


“Why are Hollywood people so willfully stupid? Sometimes I just feel like… Well, I don’t want to say it, but I get really mad. Especially at the people who patronize their stupid movies.”



The Professor Weighs In:


Yes James,  the willful stupidity of people in Hollywood is truly an amazing phenomenon and equally infuriating. But maybe it’s always been like this: creative people being overly emotional, fawning over each other and giving each other awards, earning ridiculous amounts of money for very little work and having a warped sense of superiority that only the shallowness of fame can bring. 


The key thing here is that so many of them are self-loathing from the guilt of truly knowing their worth is nothing in comparison to how the public perceives them. Hence, their leftist extremism to alleviate it, and the leftist group-think that assuages their insecurity to have any serious opinion of their own. These are the same types of people who get behind a theory that global warming is caused by racism! Can you imagine? Talk about your creative types!

Their terrible conflict — and resulting shallowness — is why their marriages don’t last, and their children wind up in trouble with the law or dead from drug overdoses. Or, in some cases, are called ‘pigs’ by their parents. (Remember that terrible recorded message Alec Baldwin left his daughter, and his daughter made public?)  So hang in there, and realize you’re not alone in your feelings. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!


By the way, did people in school drive you crazy by always saying, ‘Home, James?’ You know — ‘James’ was always the name of the chauffeur in old movies. Like ‘Jeeves’ was always the butler’s name. Well,  maybe not.

Next question. I have time for one more.



Marissa from Sunnydale, CA asks:


“I recently had a fundraiser for Barack Obama at my house, but from the reaction I’m getting, I’m now confused. Is he really a fascist, bent on destroying American as we know it? And did I make an ass of myself by so blindly supporting him?”



The Professor Weighs In:


Marissa, what planet have you been on? Yoo-hoo!
The answers are ‘yes,’ and ‘yes!’ You actually needed to ask me this?!


The only justice is you probably had to incur the expense of feeding his wife and you also have the memory etched in your brain of watching her eat.
I hope she used the toilet in your master bedroom and had loose stool!


Sorry for my temper, but I have little patience for women who reinforce the old prejudice that females should not be allowed to vote. 


On a final note, I just want everybody to know, that despite it being several weeks since I’ve appeared here, I still cannot find that purple sticky-note all of you know I’ve been looking for.  If one of you has it, I’d really appreciate your giving it back to me. I promise: no questions asked.


See you next time, everybody!



Professor Papalopolopolis’ C.V.:




The Fine Report Vacation


(Though you’d never know it from all these posts…)


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