“I’m not a murderer. I’m positive of that.”
“Am I going crazy, or that Ann Coulter right? — And did I misinterpret Boehner’s advice that Obama is just a’nice you man, in over his head,’ for he’s a ‘nice hung man, into giving head?’ Is that possible?
And Ann’s ‘Michelle Obama is lovely’ comment. Come on, man — Michelle Obama is disgusting! Jesus — just the thought of any orifice on that woman in action… Yikes.”
“Something is not making sense here. What would I do if I were getting this kind of advice from a venture capital executive? — Why I’d fire the bastard — that‘s what I would do!! Holy Christ — what the hell have I been thinking?!”
“That does it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I’m going full out ‘Mitt Romney, Mr. Business Monster.’ I didn’t want to do it, but now I’m calling out the big guns. Screw ’em: Obama will never know what hit him.”
“You heard the boss! — Romney Rangers into action!
Now remember — no cursing, hitting below the belt or anything that might annoy people voting for Obama, anyway!”
“You gotta give ’em credit — the kid’s learning.”
-Stockholm Syndrome sufferer, John McCain
“I’ll say! ‘Romney Rangers’ — wow!”
Squeaker of the House, John Boehner
“You can talk to these pitiful jerks until you’re blue in the face. You know what? My face is feeling kind of blue. Hey, at least I tried. Can you say you did?”