Knowing his friend John Edwards is about to visit the hoosegow:

 

Obama Orders Prisons to Step Up Anti-rape Efforts

“We mean it. No more dicking around!”

 

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2012/05/17/justice_prisons_to_step_up_anti_rape_efforts/

 

 

-New prison anti-rape device, designed and personally tested by Barack Obama.

 

 

“If I have a cellmate, please let me be the ‘daddy.'”

 

-John Edwards, praying to be the ‘daddy’

 

 

 

 

 

…Okay Edwards, you’re the ‘daddy.’ Now come on over here and suck ‘mommy’s’ d—.”