THE FINE REPORT

  “BARACK BIZARRE: PRESIDENT JOKES ABOUT EATING DOGS?”   http://drudgereport.com/      

Whistleblower: “Our country is under attack from the inside.” http://spectator.org/blog/2012/04/28/true-the-vote-summit-acorn-whi   Poetic justice: The accused, holding a pen he borrowed from Barack Obama. (Did Holder then know of Obama’s nose-picking habit?)   – Giant, dramatic picture of US Attorney General, Eric – now, ‘Cooties’  – Holder.     What did Holder know, and when did … Read more

If Matt brags on his website (www.drudgereport.com) about his stats,  then who the hell are we not to?   OUR FIRST WEEK, April 22 – 29, 2012   – ONE QUARTER-MILLION HITS (All robots/spiders/bots — though one person actually did visit, but then pleaded with us for that part of his life back – so … Read more

Mary asks Michelle for advice on making a reunion dinner: Dear Michelle,  I’m having a dinner party at my home for 12 high school friends I have not seen in 10 years, and I don’t know how much money I’m expected to spend on dinner. Can you give me any advice?  Mary Johnson Silver Springs … Read more

This, from the French news site, French-News-Online (with a correction):   “MSNBC-TV For a decidedly American bullsh-t slant on top news stories, check this video newsfeed daily – Click the image above” http://www.french-news-online.com/   – ‘Slant’ is right. Sadly, friends on the other side of the globe: the vast majority of major American network and … Read more

-Woman with nice behind, sadly, missing the boat. She she did not read The Fine Report.

Obama knocks them dead at Saturday night’s celebrity- studded White House Correspondents Dinner, one fool at a time:   Obama’s best line: “How do you break my finger? Punch me in the nose!”   “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha….!” – Looney George Clooney, in attendance at star-studded White House Correspondents’ dinner.   “Here — break my other finger!”   … Read more

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard purportedly asks Peter Hipper-Zipper-Dipper-Flipper-Nipper-Slipper to extend his time away from his post as Speaker of the Lower House:   –  Subtle pressure purportely exerted: ‘Get the #%&@ out!’   –  Gillard fears Lower House will get even lower   –  Scandal alleges use of taxpayer-funded taxi vouchers and sexual harassment claims … Read more

We have recieved quite a few emails asking for the background of the expert featured in our ‘The Professor Weighs In’ segments. Her name is Professor Allison D. Papalopolopolis.   – “Hey there!”    The following is her curriculum vitae:   Distinguished Professor of Law, University of Cardozo;  Answer & Demurrer Professor of Law and … Read more

With the publication of Barack Obama picking his nose up to the second joint of his finger at a press conference, the discovery of a transcript between then U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, and China’s Communist Party Chairman Mao-tse Dung (the greast mass murder in history: he killed 90 million people) circa 1972, has … Read more

  When you put a lunatic in power, he will empower fellow-lunatics, often calling them ‘commissars,’ ‘reichsfuhers’ — or ‘czars.’   ANOTHER FIRST IN AMERICA: Obama’s bigoted ‘Anti-Bullying Czar’ bullies Judeo-Christian group, attacking them for their beliefs:   “We can ignore all the ‘B.S.’ in the Bible.”     Will he say this to American … Read more

Obama consession — or confession?   MAJOR OBAMA CONSESSION TO IRANIAN NUKE WEAPON PROGRAM:   In a major concession, Obama administration officials say they could support allowing Iran to continue a crucial element of its disputed nuclear program if the government in Tehran takes other major steps to curb its ability to develop a nuclear … Read more

  “I never lie.” http://hotair.com/archives/2012/04/27/good-news-from-jay-carney-i-never-lie/     Obama Press Secretary, ‘Baghdad Jay’ Carney:   – Photo courtesy of Peoplescube.com   Some previous Carney lies:   – Carney told reporters in April that the president had never argued the Buffett Rule would solve the country’s deficit problems. But when the Buffett Rule was first introduced in September, … Read more

Giant shrimp population encroaching on native species in U.S. Gulf waters   – Ecological disaster – could destroy smaller native shrimp population   – Restaurants forced to  upgrade shrimp cocktails to main course   – Cocktail sauce-maker stocks soar on news   – Species to be renamed?   – Oxymoron, the giant shrimp   http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2135907/Giant-cannibal-shrimp-grow-13-INCHES-long-invade-waters-Gulf-Coast.html … Read more

    HOUSE SPEAKER BOEHNER: FUNNY NO MORE   In light of an EPA official stating this: “The Romans used to conquer little villages in the Mediterranean. They’d go into a little Turkish town somewhere, they’d find the first five guys they saw and they would crucify them. And then you know that town was … Read more

Harvard Law School touts ‘Occupy Movement’ creator Elizabeth Warren’s lineage as proof of their faculty’s diversity when they hired her: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/politics/view/20220427warren_i_didnt_know_harvard_law_promoted_my_native_american_lineage/srvc=home&position=0   Her ancestors:   One generation removed: Says Warren:  “You’ll see: one day young people will be shitting all over the place, throwing their waste like monkeys in a zoo — and all at … Read more

And to this day, he has not eaten one.   By Elisabeth J. Beardsley / Boston Herald The drama began at about 8:30 p.m. Saturday, as Romney and his family were relaxing at their lakeside summer home in Wolfeboro, N.H.Gubernatorial son Josh Romney told the Herald yesterday that he and brother Craig were cleaning the … Read more

A county in China has banned extravagant feasts after excessive boozing and banqueting by government officials which was taking a toll on the county’s people and its economy.   Hefeng county has become notorious for organizing government booze-fuelled feasts where guests are expected to bring gifts, Guangzhou Daily reported.   In May 2011, the local … Read more

–  Vice-Premier Li Keqiang meets Russian Prime Minister and Vladimir Putin “The China-Russia all-around strategic partnership is unprecedented at the moment, and I believe the cooperation between the two countries could reach a new high, as there is a wide range of areas that we could jointly develop,” said Vice-Premier Li Keqiang during his meeting … Read more

“WE ARE GOING TO BLOW YOUR ASS UP!”   American officials shown below, confering in an attempt to determine the meaning of this message.   http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/envoy/north-korea-issues-unusually-specific-threat-152720861.html

Breaking: AUSTRALIAN Federal Police have stepped up their probe into Peter Hipper-Zipper-Dipper-Flipper-Nipper-Slipper: misuse of parliamentary travel entitlements.   “We’re going in. The public should be assured, our probe of Mr. Slipper  will be very thorough and very, very  deep..”   The Fine Report now has a picture of the Slipper. This, is Australian Speaker of … Read more

“No lie. It really busts me up.”   “And was that story below about Egypt for real?  Because I never thought anything could be worse than what happened to me in Saudi Arabia after I got caught stealing – twice.”    

Another success story from the Secretary of Inebriation, Hillary Clinton. Why so surpised, Hillary? How thick do you have to be to not know this is what happens when you put radicals in power?   The following are but some of the newly enacted laws in Egypt under its recently installed Islamic government, the existence … Read more

Warning: Pay to see this film, and one hour later you’ll need to be entertained again. http://usa.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2012-04/24/content_15120556.htm   (Careful China: if give to him generously — like America did — he will turn on you, too:)  The Telegraph UK: “Avatar: the most expensive piece of anti-American propaganda ever made” http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/nilegardiner/100020721/avatar-the-most-expensive-piece-of-anti-american-propaganda-ever-made/   – Film Director James … Read more

(In case you missed our previous story, we reported on the Speaker of the Australian House of Representatives being embroiled in a scandal. His name is Peter Slipper. We did not make that up. We did, however, make a  lot of this up:) Peter Slipper Denies Charges   The Scandal with ‘Mr. Sandal ‘ Continues:  … Read more

Since going online on Sunday, April 22, 2012 (4 days, for some of you):   –  190,000+ hits   –  63 countries   –  2 planets   “Even sick in bed, I thought it was funny. Insightful commentary, too. Better than anything on TV. And objective, in the sense they make fun of everyone, from … Read more

‘We Made History! Announcing: the ‘ESF’ Program   Michelle Obama announces Barack Obama’s new program, “Government Moans,” officially known as “Everyone Start %$@#in.”   ‘If you loved ‘Student Loans,’ you’ll love ‘Government Moans/ESF,’ where you can  %$@# now, and pay later.   (And, yes — here are special rates for Green %$@#ing)   Paralelling the historical … Read more

“Even in bed….all I can do is dream about it.”   – Google co-founder Larry Page, post botched plastic surgery     Copyright 2012 The Fine Report [email protected]